Mood Sentry: The Year in Review

I had a lot going on this year.  I released the app on the Android Market (now Google Play) at the start of the year and on iTunes late in the year.  During this year my wife and I moved back into her house and then fixed up and sold my house.  Work was fairly hectic during the second half of the year because I had to take on several new projects (I'm an engineer in the aerospace industry).  Through all this I made good use of Mood Sentry.  I made several new entries in the Tools section, with many  of the recent entries related to black and white thinking.  I believe that my disposition toward black and white thinking may be behind the thoughts that drive most of my negative moods.  We'll see as I explore this in 2013.  I won't say that the app helped me realize this, but my frequent use of the app and the effort I put into initiating and revising my many entries led me to this realization.  It's the effort I put into managing my condition that helps.  The app just makes it a little more convenient for me to capture and confront my thoughts.  One final insight this year relates to the Prioritization Scheme.  I've posted previously that I'm not comfortable with the scheme because it just seems too arbitrary and not specific enough to be of use.  However, during the summer when I was working on the iPhone version while fixing and selling my house and taking on new projects at work, the scheme really helped me identify what was important at home and at work.  The Prioritization Scheme gave me enough guidance to figure out on what I needed to work and feel comfortable tabling the other activities on my to-do list.  Hope the app is helping you as well as it is helping me.

How's the App Working?

Every now and then I like to post this question to see if anyone has any feedback for me.  Are you able to work with your therapist to figure this out?  Is it helping your process?  Note that not only can you post to blog entries, but you can post on the support page too.

Finished a First Cut

at my new entry related to socializing.  I took the same approach I did for several other recent observations in that I broke the observations into four catagories.  I'm doing this to challenge my disposition toward black and white thinking.  Four catagories seems like a good amount for me.  For this one I address social comments as being either silly, neutral, ignorant, or poignant.  I'll see how this works and modify it as necessary.

Still Making Time

To review the app in the morning and evening.  It's tough to do the mid-day reminder when I'm visiting family, but that's ok.  I know to take a moment mid-day to reflect on what is going well and did so today.  I updated a new entry this evening which is related socializing and I think is developing into something useful.  We will see.

Working On My Challenges

I'm on vacation visiting family and making the time to work on my challenges.  I'm still looking at my thoughts through the lens of black and white thinking.  I've started two new entries related to socializing and what I think is a fear of saying something silly or insulting.  One entry is an observation and the other is an essay.  Having the ability to capture these thought close to when they occur, even on travel, is why I created Mood Sentry.  I'll continue to develop these entries while on travel.

Merry Christmas

Today I'll be travelling and will post infrequently for the next few days.  I'll still be using the app, reviewing my experiences in the morning, checking my mood at mid day, and reflecting in the evening.  I'll focus on my entries that have to do with the holidays, such as entries related to interacting with other people and functioning in group situations.  One thing I'll try focusing on is how all or nothing thinking may be impacting my thoughts in these situations.  That's something I haven't done in the past and may shed some light on my challenges.  Merry Christmas, and I hope things are going well for you this time of years.

Tuned Up Some Entries Today

When I enter things in the tools, such as events or essays, I treat them as living documents.  I update them, frequently at first because it takes me a while to really figure out what is going on in my head.  However, as time goes by I still find my self, on occasion, tweaking my entries.  Today I was adding in a little more content into an entry that I started several months ago.  I was reviewing it today and noticed that it seemed a little incomplete in terms of describing what was really going on in my head.  That's one of the nice things about this app, that I can continue to review and update my entries as needed.  On a couple of occasions I have even renamed an entry.  I'm glad I included the ability to update, rename, and even delete my custom entries.

Used the App as Intended Today

Woke up this morning and reviewed My Experiences, then set some goals, reviewed my prioritization scheme, and the looked at a couple of entries.  It really is a good way for me to start my day because it helps  my identify my challenges at the get-go, which in turn prepares me for the typical things that pop up during the day.  I'm now pausing during my day when I recognize that my mood is lowering, addressing the thoughts that seem to be driving my mood, and asking how my tendency toward all or nothing thinking may be driving these thoughts.  Good stuff for me to do.

Reviewed Some of my Newer Entries

I reviewed some of my newer entries today and caught something surprising in each.  Each entry, each essay to be specific, was geared toward getting me away from black and white thinking.  For example, I have a recent entry related to tasks in which I simplify tasks into 4 categories: quagmires, predictable, surprising, and delayed.  I have found that reviewing this entry at the start of the day can help mitigate forecasts of conflict and failure.  This evening it dawned on me that I'm also using this entry to challenge black and white thinking.  My tendency is to look at tasks as either turning into quagmires or being predictable.  Reviewing this entry helps me look beyond those 2 options and see that there are other ways tasks can play out.  I have 2 other entries that do something similar.  It looks like I'm focusing on attacking black and white thinking as a way to deal with distorted thoughts.  By the way, here are the simplified categories I use for tasks...
quagmire - things get bogged down beyond repair.
predictable - things go generally as planned.
surprising - things go better than planned.
delayed - something pops up that delays the task for a couple of days.

It's Holiday Time

It's holiday time and I often find myself getting anxious about gatherings of family and friends.  Part of it is due to forecasting conflict and part if it is due to this issue I have in group situations.  I have a tough time focusing on the person in front of me when there is a lot of commotion going on around me.  It's as if my mind goes into this monitoring mode, scanning the rest of the conversations and activities going on around me.  I'm not sure what I'm scanning for, I just seem to scan and scan and scan.  It's really bad when I'm in a group of people I know as opposed to being surrounded by people I don't know.  For some reason, the tendency to monitor the people I know and care about is much stronger than it is for complete strangers.  I don't think this characteristic has anything to do with all or nothing thinking, but there may be secondary thoughts that do have to do with all or nothing thinking.  I think that I should be able to control my attention.  There's a "should" statement for you.  I'll have plenty of opportunities in the next week or so to monitor my thoughts in these situations and see what's going on.

Tried Something Different

I was busy this morning and didn't find the time to review My Experiences.  However, I was just sitting down on the couch and reviewing the app when I thought about reviewing My Experiences while reflecting on the day's events.  It was a good thing for me to do.  I was able to identify distorted thoughts and reflect on the evidence that refuted those thoughts.  For example, if you follow this you know that I often forecast conflict and lost free time when opening e-mail.  I had such feelings/thoughts today as well as contradicting evidence.  None of my e-mails was confrontational, nor did any require an undue amount of time to address.  In fact, it was a pretty good day with no drama to speak of.  Reviewing my experiences while reflecting back on the day is something I'll try again.  There's something about reviewing my entries with fresh memories of what happened, what I thought, and how things turned out, that feels effective.

Exhausted Today

Got to work, reviewed the app, and started the final updates to the presentation.  The review went very well though I was a bit nervous much of the time waiting for things to blow up.  Didn't happen, nothing blew up.  We have a good team and prepared well.  If you've looked at some of my examples (which are my personal entries), I have something about how I prepare well in the disqualifying the positive section and probably elsewhere too.  I do a pretty good job preparing for things.  Something else I did today was take several short walks.  Physical activity helps me manage my mood.  I do tend to walk fast when I walk, and have since I was a teen. You also may have noted that I tell myself to get moving in at least one of my examples.  Finally, I did some self reflecting during the day, asking myself how all or nothing thinking could be affecting my outlook, thoughts, and mood at that time.  It all helped a bit, and together helped a lot.

Hectic Day Today

Got in to work, and things seemed fine.  I did my usual Monday morning things, checking e-mail and pulling performance data.  I took the time to review my entries in Mood Sentry and set some goals.  Things popped up, causing brief anxiety and then settling into a more  typical mood.  Then I learned that I needed to pull a presentation together to justify a change to a project I'm working on.  Suddenly I thought I'll never get all my work done!  I should have been working on this over the weekend rather than the stuff I did work on!  The meeting is is going to be a fiasco tomorrow!  I was able to counter these thoughts, partly because I prepared in the morning like I typically do (reviewing My Experiences and more) and partly because throughout the day I revisited my entries in the app as a booster.  By mid-day I had the presentation mostly done and sent to the team for review.  By the end of the day the presentation was complete.  I did stay a little later than typical to complete some of the other items I needed to work on, but it wasn't that bad.  I took a power walk when I got home, and felt even better.

Was Stressing Today

I think I finally figured out what was up.  I had several things I wanted to work on that were related to, work.  I addressed most of them, but not all.  I have this nagging feeling that I "should" have done everything I thought of.  That's that all or nothing thinking popping its head up, as well as a should statement.  I can get this way on Sundays.  I look at what's on my work plate, and think that I need to really clean that plate off before Monday starts.  The all or nothing drives that, but so does some forecasting.  I forecast the when I go to work I'll find something in my inbox that requires my immediate attention and takes up the rest of my day.  Thus, I won't get anything done tomorrow.  How did I fight this?  One way was with my prioritization scheme, which showed me that I hit the important stuff.  Another was reflecting back on what I have done, rather than what I still have to do.  That helped me feel a sense of accomplishment and is what my mid-day reminder is all about.  I also reflected on a couple of entries related to stress and tasks and stress and people.  Feeling a bit better now.  Tomorrow will be fine.

Better than OK today

The morning started off kind of odd.  I canceled an event due to weather and had made alternate plans for the day.  However, the weather turned out better than thought and I started to feel that my alternate plans were a mistake.  I had made an appointment with a realtor this morning to look at a house and started thinking I should have made the appointment for tomorrow so I could hike today.  I also planned on going in to work today to take care of a couple of things, and thought maybe I could put that off til tomorrow.  Because the weather was so nice, I wanted to take a hike today because tomorrow the weather is going to be "iffy."  This made me anxious about work because when I thought about the things I need to address I felt overwhelmed.  So what did I do?  I met with the realtor and was glad I did.  It was good for my wife and I to meet this realty team and talk about what we want with our next house, which we plan to shop for next year.  I then hiked.  On the trail I thought about a lot of things, such as the house and work.  Regarding work I thought about the things I need to do, and how my tendency toward all or nothing thinking drives a lot of my feelings of being overwhelmed.  I really only have a few things to do.  I cataloged what I need to do and realized that I can get it all done in a couple of hours.  I'll have plenty of time tomorrow to do what I need.  After the hike, and before this blog entry, I took the time to review some essays I have in my app related to work.  It helped.

Another Pretty Good Day

We finally delivered what we needed to the customer.  That was good news.  I did pretty well managing my mood, mostly by acknowledging that I have a natural tendency toward black and white thinking.  When an upsetting thought would come up, I would look at it as a by product of black and white thinking.  Recognizing that the thought was a by product of black and white thinking reduced the impact and made it easier to then bring up some counter thoughts.  I did have a mildly distressing incident late in the day, when something came up at around quitting time.  I didn't really analyze that thought but bet it was something on the order of "now I'll never get out of here."  Well, I'm home now, so it looks like I did get out of there.  Fodder for future distortions.

Did Pretty Good Today

I had a major issue at work today.  We had a contractual deliverable due today and it was not ready to go.  I knew that this would be a tough day and made the time to set some goals in the morning to help me stay focused on what needed to be done.  I also took the time to review my prioritization scheme.  That helped, because other items popped up during the day and I was able to put those aside.  Note that my first reaction to any pop-up was something like "oh no, I'll never get all this done."  However, I was able to counter those thoughts fairly quickly through prioritization and recognizing that my all or nothing thought process can distort my thoughts in times like this.  Most of the pop-up stuff could either be handled quickly or could wait until tomorrow.  So what happened? It looks like we missed the deadline.

Today Was Better

I kicked off my day reviewing My Experiences, then my Prioritization Matrix, and finally setting some goals.  Note that a couple of months or so ago I started setting multiple related goals on the same line and have continued to do so.  It just feels better and doesn't require me to modify this feature of Mood Sentry.  Doing those helped get me started on a good footing.  However, there was something else I did today that also helped.  I used my white board to capture the main tasks I need to keep track of for each project I am supporting.  I know this is a somewhat obvious thing to do, but I was getting so caught up in negative emotions recently that I just didn't feel I had the time to do this one simple thing.  For me, doing this helped relieve some anxiety associated with feeling overwhelmed.  Seeing the items on the board while keeping my prioritization scheme in mind helped me recognize what doesn't need to be worked on.  That's a good thing for me.  Otherwise I start thinking that everything has to be worked on.  Yikes.  As stated in a previous post, that's an unrealistic goal.

Feeling Stressed Today

This may be related to my tendency toward all or nothing thinking.  Building on yesterday's post, I have a lot of things on my plate at work and don't seem to be completing them as quickly as I expect myself to complete them.  No one has complained or even suggested that I'm not doing a good job.  Some things are more pressing and need to be completed, so there is a little more pressure on those items and they are getting attention as needed.  So I have this internally generated pressure to complete everything on my plate, which can't be done in a day and isn't expected to be done in a day.  This is exactly why I created my prioritization scheme.  I think I needed to review that tool at the start of my day.

An Epiphany?

I lift weights 3 days a week, something I've done for years.  I have this general belief that if I eat healthy, keep fit, and treat others well, that I've got a chance at beating my condition.  I think there's more to it than just doing those three things, but I still try to do all three.  This morning during my workout I was thinking about my upcoming day and was feeling stressed due to forecasting.  I then had this idea that my forecasts were really being driven by should statements.  Primarily that I should be able to complete all the things I thought about doing today.  That's an unrealistic goal.  Think of all the things you could be doing, and then give yourself the goal of completing them all in one day.  Anyway, I then wondered if my tendency toward all or nothing thinking was driving these thoughts.  Either I can complete all the things I thought of today, or not.  That then made me think that labeling may play a role too, in that if I can't complete it all then I'm a failure, or something like that.  I'm not sure this is an epiphany, because it might not be quite the thing.  But it sure feels close to a truth that I hadn't realized and may provide me some guidance in managing my condition.

Whack a Mole?

Sometimes managing my condition feels like I'm playing "whack a mole."  That's what it was like this morning.  I woke up early, 4 am, ruminating on something going in at work.  I was forecasting conflict in regards to a pending meeting and reporting status the could be sub-optimal.  I addressed this distortion using previous history (things are rarely as bad as I forecast), the fact that when there have been problems I have addressed them fairly well, and that nothing I've seen recently points to a major problem.  That worked.  So what happened next?  I started ruminating on an unrelated topic, this time about a task I've undertaken for a volunteer organization and forecasting that I'll never get it done.  Once more I addressed the distortion via evidence based on previous history as well as recent accomplishments.  This also worked.  Next I started ruminating on yet another item, this one related to my home life.  I addressed it, felt better, and then started ruminating on a different work item.  I'd whack one down and another would pop up.  Just like whack a mole.  I take comfort in that I was able to address the distortions and manage their impact on my mood.

Have to Admit to Only Limited Success Last Night

I tried a couple of things, such as sitting in a corner to keep most of the group's activity within a manageable cone and telling myself to focus on the person I'm talking to.  Each helped a bit, but I think I was helped more by the general level of background noise.  That noise muffled the conversation at the other end of the table to the point that I really couldn't make out what was being said.  That conversation just blended into the background, and thus wasn't a distraction to me.  That made it easier to focus on the conversation at my end of the table.  However, I did get a bit saturated from all the interaction and was quite tired by the end of the night.  I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to beat that symptom of social interaction.  That's something I'll need to think about.

Got a Social Event Tonight

Going to dinner and then to a holiday craft fair with friends tonight.  One of my biggest problems in groups like this is staying focused on the person I'm talking to.  When in a group, with multiple conversations going on, I have this tendency to go into a monitoring mode in which I constantly scan all the conversations.  I'm not sure why I have so much trouble focusing on the person in front of me, but I've been like this far as back as I can remember.  Sometimes the person I'm talking to notices.  I will often pull back from the group and drop out of any conversation because it's easier on my brain.  I'm more aware of this now than I have been in the past and will try some stuff tonight to see if I can beat this.  I'm going to try telling myself that I don't need to monitor the group.  I'll also try focusing on something about the person I'm speaking to.   I'll let you know how this goes.

Worked the New Entry a bit

I'm focused on the Event version of the entry.  I think this makes more sense, even though I'm not referring to one specific event with this entry, but a recurring event.  The way it's developing, I think this is the way to go.  What I'm doing is capturing the general thoughts that these pop-up events trigger in the Event+Thoughts window, and then documenting some notional mitigation ideas in the Mitigation Ideas window.  After I get the initial version completed, I'll try it out on some real events and tailor as needed.  These entries are never one shot deals for me, but iterative endeavors.

Working a New Entry

This one is related to pop-up tasks.  I'm not sure if it's an observation or an event.  Right now, I'm working it in both tools.  This happens on occasion.  I'll look at a thought pattern through two different lenses, entering my thoughts in two different tools.  As I develop the entries it usually becomes clear which tool is more appropriate for the the analysis.  I think this one might end up as an event.  They way the write up is developing it reads more like an event, with a manifestation and some mitigation strategies.  We'll see.

Working my Issues

The more I work my issues, the more I learn about myself.  That probably seems fairly self evident but it's something for me to keep in mind.  That's because every now and then something pops out at me that makes me think I'm getting what this is all about.  Today I had a moment like that.  I was at work, feeling a little overwhelmed with some pop-up tasks along with a plate that felt overloaded to begin with.  Then it dawned on me that I have this tendency toward black and white thinking that led me to believe that I had to complete everything on my plate, today.  I often start the day planning to get several things done, then when pop-up items arise I think I have to complete them too.  The simple task of prioritizing and re-arranging my schedule to accommodate these new items can alleviate a lot of stress for me.  Recognizing that all or nothing thinking plays a role in this thought process helped me define the problem a bit better, which ultimately helped me reduce my stress and anxiety.  This helps keep me motivated to work on my issues.

Using my Reminders

Even though I've used my reminders for well over a year now (note that I've had the app on my phone longer than the app's been on either market), I'm still surprised at how effective the reminders can be.  For me, it's the simple act of looking back on the day and noting what has gone well.  I can still get wrapped up in the stuff that's not going well that I forget that some things are in fact going well.  I can't remember the last time EVERYTHING was going bad.  There's always something, and quite often lots of things that are going well. The reminders help me in this one, simple way.

Changing my Attitude Toward Cost/Benefits?

I've posted previously that I really hadn't used the Cost Benefit analysis tool that much.  I think I have about three custom entries.  The entries just didn't feel that compelling to me.  However, I've been thinking about those entries recently and think I know how to use them.  On their own, they don't do much for me.  But I can use them as inspiration to review other tools.  For example, the example analysis has to do with forecasting.  I have a couple of essays regarding forecasting that address interactions with other people and how tasks typically play out.  The cost benefit analysis isn't strong enough to get me to stop forecasting, but it does help nudge me to review and think about these essays, which do have an impact on my mood.  I'll need to think about this a bit more, but may be developing a better understanding of how to use the Cost Benefit analysis tool.

How is this working on the iPhone?

I have an iPod that I use as a test device, and had a friend load the app on her iPod to test before I released it on the market.  I may have made the drop down menu bar at the top of several pages a bit too small.  The symptom would be that you'd need to tap it a couple of times to get it to work.  Are you having that issue?  I'm also wondering if the "feel" of the app is like other iPhone apps.  I think it is, but I'm just wondering what you think.  I have not seen any crash reports, so all the testing I did before releasing the app seems to have paid off.  Of course, there really are not that many downloads at this time.  Feel free to post on this blog or drop me a line at support@moodappsllc.com.

Not Much to Add Beyond Yesterday

Still working those new essays.  I think they are helping.  Funny how a simple reminder regarding how interactions and tasks typically play out can help quench my forecasts of conflict and quagmires.  I took a moment to review those two essays in mid day in addition to my morning review.  Reflecting on past experiences when reviewing these entries I think makes the entries more effective.  It was another, pretty good day.

A Pretty Good Day Today

I made the time to review My Experiences and a couple of relevant essays this morning just before work (as my computer was booting up).  It helped.  I reviewed a couple of essays I wrote that relate to how interactions and tasks typically play out.  These got me thinking about the upcoming tasks and interactions, and helped my get my forecasts tempered a bit.  Doing this got my day to a good start.

Have you worked with your therapist?

If you have checked the hints in the app, you may have noticed that I often suggest that if you don't know where to begin, check with your therapist.  I'm wondering if any of you have used this app in session and worked with your therapist.  Has anyone worked with their therapist to tailor how a distortion manifests during your day?  What about developing a mitigation?  How about tailoring the reminders?  I've reviewed some of my tool entries in-session.  The app is a handy place to store thoughts and easy to reference in-session.  Just checking to see if anyone has done the same, and if it helped you.

Caught Myself "not Forecasting"

Today was fairly hectic at work.  I had multiple things going on that required my full attention.  I had several telecons with customers, and needed to be prepared for each.  The preparation on my part was minor, but added to the other duties I had today it was a bit much.  Typically, when interactions are in the near future I start to forecast conflict and failure.  However, today I noticed that I wasn't forecasting like I typically do.  At least not at that time.  I was forecasting a fairly neutral to somewhat positive interaction.  I'm not sure what made me notice that something was different, but it just suddenly dawned on me that I was not stressing on the upcoming meeting.  I made a note of this.  Now, reflecting back on the day's interactions, none of them went bad.  None turned into conflict, and none turned into failure.  This is typical for me, and a good thing for me to remember.

How Things Went Today

So over the holiday weekend I was flopping in and out of depression/anxiety and neutral, spending about 50% of my time in each.  This  was all over an issue that popped up at work last Wednesday.  I was countering thoughts of failure and conflict with counter thoughts that were either neutral or positive.  I was countering these thoughts by reflecting on past experiences, which were rarely as bad as I had forecast.  I was countering these thoughts with facts, such as I really didn't have all the facts and therefore didn't know if the situation was that bad to begin with.  So today I set out to better assess the situation.  I was contacting people to get data relevant to the issue, cost, schedule, funding available, stuff like that.  What I learned was that we don't have an issue at this time.  We're close to having an issue, but are expecting more funds to come in any day now.  There it was again.  My typical pattern of forecasting catastrophe and finding out later that things are not so bad.  Is there any good news here? Yes.  It used to be that the split between depression/anxiety and neutral was more like 80%, 20% (neutral).  I used to be more of a wreck with stuff like this.  I feel I'm getting better at handling stuff like this.

Still Waffling

Having tough time with this issue.  I did spend time trying to scope the issue today and don't think it will be as bad as I forecast.  Based on my experiences, things are rarely as bad as I predict.  Imagining positive outcomes has helped, though I have a tendency to dismiss those as not being likely to happen.  I'll see what happens tomorrow.  In the meantime, I'll reflect on some of my entries related to forecasting.  I'll let you know what happens tomorrow.

Waffling today

I was bouncing in and out of a depressed mood today, mostly driven by the work issue.  I'm getting better at challenging those forecasts, mostly by considering alternative scenarios that are either positive or neutral.  I did spend some time today assessing the situation, and do not think it is as bad as my forecasts.  We'll see how things develop on Monday.

I Think I'm Making Progress on Forecasting

I think this because there's something going on in my work life regarding a mistake I made.  I'm forecasting how the interactions will turn out, and some of them are fairly neutral.  I still have the forecasts that contain conflict and put downs, but I have others that are have a more proactive nature.  My typical response to mistakes is to forecast conflict and put downs, and then ruminate on those thoughts.  What's going on now is different for me.  I'll keep working on this and see how things go on Monday when I get to work.

What I'm Thankful For

This is my first Thanksgiving blog, so I'll be fairly traditional in regards to blogging.  I'm thankful for my wife.  Before we started dating, I felt I needed to come clean about my battle with depression.  I hadn't told many people about this part of my life, so I was nervous.  There was no need to be.  She was very understanding and supportive of me, and still is.  I'm thankful for my therapist, who introduced me to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and to Dr. Burns' book "Feeling Good."  This has really helped me manage my condition.  I'm thankful to Dr. Burns for writing the aforementioned book, which I still reference, and of course I'm thankful to Dr. Beck for developing and nurturing this therapeutic approach to mood management.

How's the App Working?

Does the app function OK?  Does the drop down menu work?  Can you double tap to edit?  Has anyone experienced a crash?  I should see a report if the app crashes, and saw one when I first released the app, but haven't seen anything yet.  Let me know if there are any issues.  Have a Happy Thanksgiving tomorrow.

A Pretty Good Day

Hit the app first thing in the morning again today.  It really helps when I use the app the first thing in the morning.  I don't always review "My Experiences."  Sometimes I jump right into the tools and just start reviewing essays or observations or events.  Those 3 are the ones I use most, and if I think about my day and what I'll be doing I can usually find a relevant entry or two.  Doing that helps me start the day off with a feeling of confidence in terms of managing my thoughts and mood.

Did Pretty Good Today

I was feeling somewhat anxious  this morning, as I often do on Monday morning.  It was just a feeling that the "stuff" was going to hit the fan.  I made sure I used the app, and started the day reviewing My Experiences and a couple of Tools entries I thought were relevant.  I set some goals and got back to work.  I took a walk at lunch time and tried focusing on the tension in my shoulders to get those muscles to relax.  I reviewed my mid-day reminder and some of my goals, and realized that I was doing pretty good.  I was able to gradually defeat that feeling of doom, but I really had to work at it.  I still have my evening reminder coming up, at which time I'll further reflect on my day and my accomplishments.

How are the Examples

I've included my own entries to serve as examples for you, the users.  Some of the examples have been modified a bit since I released the app, but the modifications are minor.  I included my own entries to show how I use the app as well as provide a level of consistency between the examples.  My belief is that the consistency will result in a better understanding of how the different tools can be used.  However, this creates a risk that the user may not be able to relate to my experiences and thus find the tool less than useful.  So I'm wondering: are the examples too different from your own experiences to be of use to you?

The Reminders

The reminder examples I have are fairly involved.  The original version of each was much simpler.  The morning reminder simply told me to review my experiences with my day in mind, the mid-day reminder simply asked what's gone well today, and the evening reminder was a simple reflection and then think about tomorrow.  The more I used them and the app, the more I added to each.  If you are using the reminders, try to keep them simple at first.  Figure out if you even need a reminder, if so what you need, and then build from there.

Ambushing Therapists?

I often wonder if I'm ambushing therapists with my hints that suggest asking your therapist if you don't know where to begin.  I'm hoping that any therapist specializing in CBT will be able to pick up on the intent of the app and help you, the patient, through the experience.  I haven't sold that many apps at this time, so this probably hasn't come up yet.  I imagine a therapist would drop me a line if they saw an issue.

Use in Therapy

I often pull out my phone during a therapy session and review an entry.  I use the phone to record thoughts, which for me is an on-going process.  I'll record a disturbing thought after it happens, and return to that entry over the next couple of weeks to revise it until it really captures my thought.  I know some people who can sit down and write things that are coherent right from the start, but that's not me.  I really need to analyze my thoughts and revise the write-up a few times before it becomes coherent.  Then I can review the entry with my therapist.

Persistent Access

One of the reasons I created this mobile app was for the persistent access a phone based app provides.  Access to references, access to my experiences, access to the tools.  Having something I can reference wherever I am, at any time, is good for me.  Sometimes I need to find a secluded spot to use the app, such as a conference room at work, but usually I can just use it where I am.  Reviewing my entries when my thoughts start to run away can help lessen their impact on my mood.  Sometimes it reduces the intensity, sometimes it reduces the duration, sometime it reduces both.  I'm glad I created it.

iPhone Version is Now Available

Over the summer I was very busy with my day job, getting my house ready to sell (and then selling it), and a special project I would mention every now and then.  That special project was the iPhone version of Mood Sentry.  I submitted that version for review to the apple store last week and learned last night that is was ready of sale.  It looks very similar to the Android version and should function much the same.  However, now that I'm supporting both an Android version and an iPhone version, I had to give something up.  That something is the free trial version for Android.  I just don't have the time to support that any more.  As such, I decided to keep the price at the special rate of $1.99 for the foreseeable future to lessen the impact of trying Mood Sentry.

All or Nothing Thinking Today

Took the day off and was feeling kind of anxious/uneasy about the day.  I was planning on exploring LA with my wife and just kept thinking the day was going to be a bust.  I tracked it down to all or nothing thinking.  I kept imagining that something wouldn't go well, or the places we wanted to visit would be closed (Veteran's Day).  Thus, my day would be ruined.  Once I realized that this type of thinking was driving my mood I was able to address it and minimize the impact.  Yes, the app helped, but it was the effort that I put into challenging the thoughts that really helped.  Note that I believe this type of thinking has hampered my day on multiple occasions.  I now know what to look for and will be more diligent.

Got Hung Up Today

Mostly it was driven by Mental Filtering on something from this morning, which drove emotional reasoning throughout the day.  The result is a feeling of sadness.  I've gone back and addressed the thought that set me off as best I can.  That helped a bit.  Looking back on my day, I had a pretty good day full of activities and a couple of things completed that I had been putting off for a few days.  Good stuff.  I need to get  back to that initial thought and see if I can better manage it.

Thinking about 86ing the Support Page

it really doesn't get used much.  We've only had one entry to date, other than what I've entered.  My intent was to create a forum for people to post successes and questions, and essentially help each other use the app.  So far, it hasn't worked out that way.  I thought it was a great idea, but so far it's just been an idea.  I'll keep it for the near term, and re-evaluate it next year.

Other than the app

There are other things I do to manage my mood, beyond using the app.  One thing I do is get exercise every day.  You may have seen me advising myself to get moving in some of my example entries.  I power walk, hike, kayak, and workout in the gym.  Not all of those every day, but at least one of those every day.  I try to take breaks at work.  For example, today I took off at lunch and shopped at the local farmer's market.  I also try to make time for myself, "me" time, and usually read a magazine during those periods.  Finally, I'll read self help books to help me better understand my condition and maybe work through an issue.  What about you?

Have you tried the Prioritization Scheme?

Every now and then I ask this.  It's the tool I'm most uncomfortable with because it seems to useless.  It just seems that having a simple scheme like those to identify high to low priorities would be useful in only limited instances.  However, over the summer when I was getting my house ready to put on the market and then selling the house, that tool helped a lot.  The schemes were generic enough that they helped me identify what I needed to work on in times when I felt overwhelmed.  Hmmm.  I'm kind of feeling that way at work these days.  I'll review this tool first thing in the morning to see if it helps me at work.

Feeling stressed today

I'm porpoising in and out of a stressful state.  Grabbing the phone and reviewing entries is helping.  This is something I've had to address for most of my life.   I'm getting better at it.  I think taking on more responsibility at work is both causing more stress as well as helping me work through it.  Odd.  One reason I don't try to find another job is for the opportunity to work through all this.

Still Working that Daily Goals Modification

I think I like having a couple of related items on each line or things to accomplish   It's a bit more useful and doesn't require me to update any java code.  I have enough characters allocated to each line, so it seems to work from a functional standpoint.  Funny how even after a year of using this, I come up with new ways that it can help me.  Has any one out there tried entering more than one thing to accomplish on a line?

Tried Something Different with Daily Goals

I had a lot of stuff on my plate today, and all of it seemed important.  I was trying to figure out how I could use the Daily Goals tool to help track what I need to do.  I was going to id 3 things to do, get them done, then replace those items with 3 new things.  That felt cumbersome.  What I did was jot down a couple of things to do in each line.  I kept them related, so things on one line were complementary.  I think I like this and will try it again tomorrow.  It addresses a question I have had related to adding more entires for things to accomplish.  I guess I don't need to do that now.

The Other Low Usage Tool

I mentioned that I rarely use the cost benefit tool in a recent blog.  The other least used tool is the Ideal Self tool.  When I first created this tool I thought "why do I need more than one entry?"  My thought was that one ideal self goal should be adequate.  I just felt that focusing on one ideal self at a time would be the best I can do.   Right now I have 4, including the example which of course was my first entry in the tool.  The other 3 have to do with eating healthy, treating other people well, and living in the present.  Each can can serve as a reminder of who I'd like to be, and depending on the situation any one of them can be the one I really need to focus on.

Did OK Last Night

I still got overwhelmed with all the commotion and people.  I withdrew a bit and found some "space" for myself.  Not bad.  Today was pretty good.  I thought about what I wanted to do and planned my day a bit. I found some time for fun and even worked in a wine tasting. I reviewed a couple of entries in the app and modified them for clarity.  I like reviewing and re-reviewing my entries because it helps me get a better handle on what really drives my thoughts and moods.  How about you?

Have a Social Event Tonight

If you've been following this blog, you know I need to prepare a bit for social events.  Tonight is dinner and an art stroll with friends.  I have some entries on the app related to events like these.  I'll review them in preparation for this evening.  It's mostly the seemingly constant draw on my attention from seemingly every angle that gets to me.  Sometimes I need a little break, and reminding myself before hand that I may need a break can help.  Off to review my entries.

Cost Benefits Analysis

The Cost Benefit analysis is the tool I use least.  I'm not sure why.  I have only 3 custom entries in this tool.  I was reviewing them this evening and felt good reading them, but didn't find them particularly insightful.  They were kind of sterile.  I'm going to think about these and see if I can make the ones I have more pertinent, or maybe figure out if there is a better way to use this tool.  How about you?  Do you use this tool?

Why Only 3 Things to Accomplish?

I thought of adding more, and still do.  However, 3 seemed just right.  I can start my day and focus on those first 3 items. I can always replace entries that I complete in the morning when I review my mid-day reminder, if I think that's necessary.  How does it work for you?

Had a Better Day Today

Sometimes I get pretty good at catching thoughts before they get our of hand.  Today I did that for most of the day.  Some of the things that helped were reviewing my entries in the app and getting on top of things quickly.  I think that latter item was a real benefit today.  Getting on top of things quickly puts a real damper on my forecasts of doom and gloom.  If those thoughts don't pick up a head of steam then they tend to be manageable.  Something for me to keep in mind.

All That Forecasting for Naught

Nothing went bad today.  I had myself wound up regarding a meeting and an anticipated interaction.  I used my new entries in the app to counter these thoughts, which helped reduce their impact on my mood.  When the meeting took place, things went fairly well.  Actually, they went very well compared to my forecast.  And that anticipated interaction?  Never happened.  I received an e-mail from that person and realized the anticipated interaction was nothing but fantasy.  Things went well today, like they typically do.

Getting ready for work tomorrow

I'm feeling stressed due to the interactions I'll be having tomorrow.  I'll work the new entries a bit more tonight and see if that helps.  A lot of the stress is due to forecasting conflict.  In the morning I'll "listen" to my reminder and review My Experiences.  One last thing I'll do tonight is set some goals for the morning.  It will be an interesting day.

Did You Know...

That if you choose to buy the paid version, your data entered into the free version will be transferred to the paid version?  Even though they are technically 2 different apps, because they have have the same creator and are signed with the same key, they can share data.  Well, almost.  The free version is not designed to get data from the paid version.  What are the differences?  The paid version allows up to 30 entries in each of the tools: Observations, Event Log, Cost Benefits, Essays, and Ideal Self.  You can also back up your data to your SD card, and of course there is no time limit.

Had a Good Day Today

The good part was related to catching myself keeping some distortions in check.  Most notably a jumping to conclusions related to a person not doing what I expected them to do.  I'm slowly moving away from the idea that people should behave the way I expect them to.  Reading that seems kind of silly to me right now, but I have to admit that I do think that way.  I'm now realizing that thinking people should behave the way they think they should behave is better for my emotional health.  I'll work this a bit more and see how it "fits."

The Other New Essay

The other day I showed the essay I've been working on related to tasks.  Here's the one I've been working on related to interactions.  Both are still in progress.  As my entries develop, they sometime take a turn and end up with a different meaning than I originally intended.  With this one, I'm trying to develop an essay that will help defeat those forecasts of conflict in regards to pending interactions.

Essay Title: Stress and People
Interactions can take different forms.  Some are stressful and some are not.  Think about each form and which form the day's interactions are like to take.

Dysfunctional in which people might put eachother down and prevent decisions and focus on the negatives.Confrontational in which people challenge each other to produce a better product.Neutral in which people listen to each other and are cordial.Synergistic in which people infuse energy and build on each other's ideas.

Dysfuctionals can be stressful.  Lookout for should statements and labels.Confrontationals can be stressful.  These may seem worse than they are.  Lookout for jumping to conclusions in regards to the other person's intent, should statements and labels.

Did Pretty Good Today

Had a big meeting with a customer today.  I brought Starbucks coffee to the meeting in one of those traveling coffee boxes.  While waiting for the coffee to be brewed I took the time to review my experiences and my new entries, in particular the one related to interacting with people.  That turned out to be the only chance I had to address my condition because once I got into work things started happening pretty quickly.  "Things" means checking and responding to e-mail, getting set up for the meeting, and conducting the meeting.  The meeting lasted all day, and went very well.  I'll reflect back on the meeting this evening and how the interactions went.  I think there were some good experiences I want to reflect on.

Sharing a new Essay

I mentioned that I started an essay the other day, and then split it into two different essays.  Here's what I have so far for the essay related to tasks.  It's something I reviewed and updated this morning and will continue to review and update.  It's a work in progress.  My goal is to reduce my early morning stress and forecasts of gloom and doom.

Essay Title: Stress and Tasks
Tasks can take different forms.  Think about each form and which form each of the day's tasks is likely to follow.

Quagmire in which the task can get bogged down due to unforeseen issues.
Predictive in which things go generally as planned.
Surprising in which things go better than planned.
Delayed in which something pop up requiring work to stop for a short period.

Most tasks do not turn into quagmires.
Most tasks are either predictive of surprising.  So why the stress?
Delayed tasks are not uncommon.  Do your best to plan around them.

Continued working on that Essay I started the other Night

I picked up where I left off.  I had captured some thoughts related to forecasts that lead to stress for me.  The thoughts were grouped into things related to interacting with people and things related to tackling a task. I developed each thought a bit more, and then decided to split the essay into two different essays.  One focused on interacting with people and one focused on tackling a task.  I copied the whole text and started a new essay, pasting the copied text into the body.  I then deleted the part I didn't want and developed each a bit more.  For the people interactions, I capture 4 ways a pending interaction can go.  Only one had people being very difficult. The other three were either neutral or good.  Reviewing this helped alleviate some stress early in the morning.  The other essay has a similar flow, capturing 4 ways a task might go.  I think these need a little more work, but I like them.

Working the App Today

Been working with the app today.  This is going to be a hectic week.  I have a customer coming in and need to get the project moving forward.  Things are in place, such as having charge lines for people to charge their time to, but we still need a couple of more authorizations before we can all begin working.  All I can do is what I've been doing.  However, there are all those pesky thoughts coming up.  We should have had all the authorizations weeks ago.  We'll never get things signed off.  This meeting is going to be a scream fest.  I have no data to justify any of those thoughts, except the should statement.  However, in regards to that should statement, I know we're working with a new system and I know the person working on my authorization is doing his best.  Regarding the other thoughts, based on what I've experienced so far those thoughts are not true.  It's good to capture this in my blog.  Doing this helps me gather my thoughts and move through this stress.

Did you know...

Every now and then I post a few comments about the color scheme of Mood Sentry.  The blue fading to yellow represents going from blue to sunny. I know, that's kind of silly but I like it.  The black background came about because it takes me a while to formulate my thoughts and I figured a black background would use up less battery power during my thought process.  The text color is not quite white, but a 75% white to help save battery power too.  Just little things I thought of during the development process.

Didn't Sleep Well Last Night

I kept thinking about work and what I need to get done, and kept forecasting conflict and quagmires.  I had this idea developing in my head involving an essay to capture a couple of things.  One would relate to interactions and how they can take several forms: conflict, neutral, and agreeable.  The other would relate to activities and how they can take longer than expected (quagmire), as long as expected, and event shorter than expected.  The idea being that reviewing this might be helpful at time.  I kept ruminating on this concept and finally grabbed my phone and started an essay.  I didn't capture the whole thing, just enough such that I can pick it up again and develop it further.  I was able to get back to sleep after that.

Worked a Bunch of Entries Today

Not sure what's going on these days.  Been feeling a lot of work related stress and working the app hard.  It's been helping.  I've had he app on my phone for over a year now and have a lot of entries.  I spent time reviewing most of them today.  It's interesting to see how some things keep popping up.  I've learned more about myself because of all this, and perhaps I'll find some breakthrough thought that will help me defeat these distorted thoughts.  Right now, the app does a pretty good job of helping me manage my condition.

Things Eased Up Today

I think it was simply moving forward on one of my work challenges.  Making progress on something can really help my mood.  Yes, I used the app in the morning, at lunch, and this evening, which helped too.  However, it's accomplishing something that had the most impact.  I have an entry or two related to getting things off my plate and how that can improve my mood.  Even accomplishing a small thing can help. That's something I loose track of at times and need to remind myself every now and then.

Another Rough Day

It seems like I have a lot of things on my plate, some going well and some not so well.  I think I'm letting the not so well ones hijack my mood.  I hit the app at lunchtime and reviewed My Experiences and several entries.  I have several entries related to work and the stuff I'm going through these days.  It good how the app builds up over time and has helpful suggestions.  All or Nothing thinking, over-generalizations, and probably some should statements too.  I'm getting better at recognizing them and countering them.

Had a Rough Day Today

A new program (for me) seems to have problem after problem.  I think I'm getting into emotional reasoning with this one.  Yes, it does have some pretty tough issues to resolve, but it also has some interesting points.  I think I'm losing track of the interesting points in my zeal to fix what's wrong with this program.  I'll think about this.  I may start a new entry.  I'm filling up my entries and probably can consolidate a couple or even delete one of the older ones.  Sometimes I have a couple of entries that are different "takes" on the same item.

How I started my Day

Here's some stuff that came up reviewing My Experiences this morning...
All or Nothing - regarding the party last night, I invited a people from different groups that my wife interacts with.  Because only people from one of those groups showed up, I had these brief thoughts of failure.  I attributed this to all or nothing thinking (if all groups not represented, then I failed) and countered this thought with my wife's comments that it was a good party and the fact that everyone there had a great time.
Jumping to Conclusions - I kept wondering if some people didn't show because I offended them in some way.  I would start feeling anxious at this thought and try to figure out what I did and how I could remedy it.  I really have no evidence of such an offense which is how I countered this thought.
Magnification - back to thinking about the people who didn't show up, I had a tendency to magnify the importance of those no-shows.  Because my wife had a great time, and got to spend time with some friends she hadn't seen in a while, the fact that some people didn't show really wasn't that big of a deal.
Should Statements - Ate too much, didn't have all the people I invited showing up.  I should have eaten less, I should have followed through better on the invitations.  Actually, one day of over eating is not bad, and perhaps I would have slept better had I not eaten so much, but so what?  We had a great time, the food was great, and the company was great.  A better follow up on the invites?  Maybe things would have been different, maybe they would have been worse.  The fact is we had a great time with who showed up.  Good enough.
So, this is how I started my day.  Battling some residual thoughts from last night.  Reviewing my experiences provides a somewhat structured way to address thoughts like these and mitigate them.

Hosted a Surprise Party for my Wife

This evening I hosted a surprise party for my wife.  She cleared her special education II the other month and I felt it needed to be celebrated.  I've never organized an event like this and found myself addressing multiple distortions.  I think my tendency toward all or nothing thinking had a lot to do with these thoughts.  Planning this out, I would forecast that this event would be a bust.  What would make it a bust?  Not having everything go as planned.  My entry in "My Experiences" for all or nothing helped with that thought.  I was able to convince myself that everything doesn't need to go as planned to make the party a success.  This evening we didn't have all the people I expected to show, actually show up.  My mood would start drifting lower because people I expected to show did not show, however, I was able to catch these thoughts and challenge them with real-time data.  When I took the time to observe the group, everyone was in fact having a good time.  My wife had a great time, and that was the most important thing.  This is a good experience to capture.  Things didn't go as planned, but things worked out well anyway.  I'll jot down a couple of notes and capture this in an Event entry tomorrow.  My phone's on the charger now and I need to get some sleep.  Social events wear my out.

App Notes

Sometimes I post little things related to using the app.  For example, when a reminder goes off, after reviewing the reminder you can get back to the home key via the menu button.  On the menu bar that appears, there is a home icon that takes you to the home page.
Double tapping in a text field kicks you into the editor.  It's the same a tapping the customize button, but I prefer to double tap.
Check out the hints.  They may be different, depending on the page you are on.

Working Multiple Entries

I have two or three entries that I've been working on these days, all different takes on all or nothing thinking.  I'm digging into the concept of all or nothing thinking and how that may actually be the distortion that drives my forecasting.  It's tough for me for some reason, to capture the gist behind the thoughts that drive the mood.  However, it just seems that I may have these all or nothing automatic thoughts, such as people will either support me or reject me, i'll either be a success or a failure.  In this last case, success would be the result of getting everything off my plate (completed).  Anyway, what I do is try to capture the thought and record it.  Sometimes it seems that the thought disappears before I can record it. Almost like it's afraid of being recorded.  I'll keep working on this.

Didn't Sleep Well Last Night

I kept ruminating on forecasts of conflicts and failure for today.  There have been a couple of times when I had trouble sleeping that I used the app to capture what was on my mind and challenge those thoughts.  When I did that, I was able to get back to sleep.  It would have been good to try that last night.  For some reason, I didn't think of doing that.  Perhaps documenting this might help me remember to try the app the next time I have thoughts keeping me awake.  As a side note, things went pretty well today.  Some things went well, most were neutral, and a couple could have been better.  No significant conflict was encountered.  These really were distorted thoughts.

Sometimes when I review My Experiences...

I blow through them fairly quickly, and sometimes I don't.  Going through them fairly quickly is OK for me, because I usually capture the most likely distortions that may manifest during my day.  This helps.  Going through the list slowly and deliberately helps too.  This is because I can pick up more subtle ways that distortions can manifest.  Most recently is how all or nothing thinking may be influencing things more than I thought.  It may be driving my forecasts of conflict and lost free time.  I'm capturing this in my new entry.  I know, I keep saying I'll share it sometime.  Just not tonight.

Worked the new entry today

I think it's developing into something useful.  Sometimes my entries take a turn in an entirely different direction than the one I start off in.  That's because the more I think about the thoughts relating to a situation, the better I understand what's going on.  Writing thoughts and situations down is a critical part of my process.  The app helps me by providing persistent access to these entries, so that I can work them when the mood strikes.

Worked the app a bit differently today

Rather than reviewing my experiences first, I started a new entry in my Observations tool.  I had a thought that I wanted to capture and was concerned that I'd forget if I just jumped right into reviewing My Experiences.  This thought is in its nascency, and has to do with the inertia I experience getting things started.  I'm still trying to really capture the symptom.  Perhaps I'll share it later, when it is more developed.

Wondering Where to Start?

Try starting with My Experiences.  That's how I started this whole thing.  I just wanted to get a better grasp of the distortions and how they manifest in my life.  I then created my own list of mitigations.  It wasn't as structured as it is in the app.  It was simply a sheet of paper that had different scenarios that may happen on any given day, the thoughts that might pop up, and some counter thoughts.  Creating my own examples helped me to better understand the concept of cognitive distortions.

Not sure if its the app or biochemical

I'm feeling better today than I have been.  The situation at work really hasn't changed much.  I have been working the app pretty religiously over the past couple of days, which I know has helped.  As I've stated in previous posts, I have been reviewing my experiences and some entries in the morning, at lunchtime, and in the evening.  However, I've also been sleeping better because the heat wave has waned and sometimes I just get in a funk that simply fades away.  Thus, I can't be sure it is the app that's helping me feel better, but I'm sure it had something to do with my improvement.

Was Pressed to work the app today

Very busy at work, which is just the time I really need to work the app.  I found the time this morning to review My Experiences with the known day's events in mind.  There will always be pop up stuff, which often have similar patterns and can actually be planned for, at least in terms of the thoughts I generate.  Preparing in the morning helped.  I didn't make the time at lunch to review anything because I was trying to finish up a design I've been working and need to get off my plate.  I did manage to make the time tonight to review some entries and reflect back on the day.  That reflection helped.  I'm feeling overwhelmed and like I can't get anything done.  Reflecting back on the day made me realize that I did get several things done and that design is just about off my plate.  Set a couple of goals for tomorrow and am calling it a day.  Good night.

What would you think of a half price sale?

I'm just wondering if this would spark any movement from the trail to the paid version.  The current price is 3.99, so what if I dropped it to 1.99 for the month of October?  Just wondering.  Regarding using the app, I've been hitting it hard these days.  I've got a lot going on at work, and it feels like things are all going to come down at one and I'll be inundated.  I'm able to use the app pretty well to identify specific thoughts that are driving my mood, and then identify some mitigating thoughts.  Good stuff.

Sometimes I notice improvements

These improvements can be subtle.  Today, I didn't forecast conflict and lost time as much as I usually do, and when I did the thoughts were less upsetting.  It feels as these thoughts have lost influence over my mood, at least for today.  The thoughts seemed the same but the impact was definitely less.  The big thing for me was that I recognized the thoughts and noted the lessened impact.  I know these thoughts are distortions and not destiny.  I think I'm recognizing this on a deeper level.  Let's see if this continues.  I'm working the app hard these days, making sure I take the time for a good review of my experience and a few entries in the morning, at lunch, and in the evening.  Good stuff.

Made Sure I Worked the App Today

Based on yesterday's post, you can guess that I really need to attack my thoughts these days.  Mostly work that drives my negative thoughts, but some home stuff too.  The trick for me is to think ahead to my day and anticipate what will probably bubble up.  It's good for me to think about things like overgeneralizations and emotional reasoning in the morning in preparation for my day.  Does this make sense to you?

Stressing all day

It's due to the new activities at work.  I'm lead on these.  I tracked it down to one, and ended up going into the office to work on it for a bit.  I have a lot of stuff on my work plate, so it's good that I sold my house the other week and got that off my home plate.  I spent about 1.5 hours reviewing the task and understanding what we need to do.  That helped.  This evening, I took the time to review my experiences with tomorrow in mind, thinking of what might come up at work.  I then reviewed multiple entries I have in Observations and Essays that are related to work issues.  It helped lessen a lot of my stress.  Over time, I've built these entries up and refined many of them.  They really came in handy today.

Sometimes the App isn't the Thing

Social events can really stress me.  It's the constant assault on my senses, in particular my hearing.  I have a tough time focusing on one thing including conversations with people right in front of me.  I've been this way since I was a kid.  I often just need to get away and re-charge with a walk, but even that doesn't always help.  When I'm overwhelmed like this the best thing for me to do is simply get away.  The app can help in situations like this, in terms of challenging thoughts like "I can't take this anymore."  But the real thing to do is simply thank the host and hostess (if applicable), say my good byes, and leave.  I used to think it was rude to leave before most people leave, but I really don't think anyone wants me to feel overloaded.  I have a couple of entries in the app that relate to events like these, and they can help, but like I stated earlier in this post, the best thing in these situations is to simply leave.

A Friday Night Reflection

Had an OK day.  Lot's of jumps to conclusions, usually involving conflict, coupled with overgeneralizations involving time.  This temporal exaggeration stuff has gone on for most of my life.  It's nice to be aware of this as a cognitive distortion and catch it in its early stages.  I wonder where this particular thought originated?  Hmmm.  I'll reflect on the days events and develop some challenges to these thoughts.

My Morning Reminder

I followed my morning reminder today and reviewed My Experiences with respect to my current mood and the day's events.  I was feeling a bit anxious and traced it down to jumping to conclusions and overgeneralizations.  These were my typical issues related to having multiple things on my plate and thinking that each will consume all my time due to unexpected events.  One thing that helped was focusing on just those things I needed to get done today.  I don't need to get everything done on any given day.  Scoping my effort to what was needed helped.  Another thing that helped was focusing on past experiences in this regard and recognizing that pop up events typically are not catastrophic and are usually manageable.

Getting Better at Catching Distorted Thoughts

This is why I built the app for myself.  So I have a place to record and reflect on frequent occurrences and thoughts.  Because I take the time to review my entries I'm somewhat primed to catch thoughts during my day.  Today was pretty good.  I had pop-up items and handled them pretty well.  I reflected back on my day and the thoughts that popped up.  I really have issues with time and thinking I won't have enough time to do what I need and have some fun, but more often than not, I do have time for both.  I think I'll review my prioritization scheme before turning in tonight.

For the new users...

Things to try:
Check out the hints on each page.  They are somewhat customized to each tool and will hopefully provide valuable insight.
When a reminder triggers, you can get to the home page via the home icon in the options menu.
Take your time customizing the definitions of the distortions to yourself.  I created this over a period of time.  The point of hosting this app on your phone is to provide persistent access to a place you can log your thoughts and experiences.
Feel free to post in response to this blog or post on our support page.  You can do either from your phone.
Work with your therapist on your entries.
How's that?

Thinking in Bed This Morning

I tend to wake up early and have done so most of my life.  This morning was no different, and as usual I was thinking.  Thinking about work and how the new projects might evolve, thinking about getting some exercise today, and thinking about my day in general.  Interspersed with these thoughts were reflections on the basic cognitive distortions and how they came about in my life.  I know I'm a little further along the Asperger spectrum than most, and was trying to figure out if that may have been a driver for my depression.  I have a tendency toward dichotomous thinking, which is probably a big driver of my jumping to conclusions.  Either people will support me or they will reject me.  However, in most situations people are somewhat neutral to supportive of me.  So why the negative forecasts?  I'll keep noting the way people react to my input and see if I can wear these forecasts out.

Had a Brief Incident Today

Jumping to Conclusions it was.  Mindreading too.  My wife called, telling me that she was looking at a house that just came on the market and thought it was really cute.  I was home waiting for a handyman to come and dig into an electrical issue we have.  She said something that made me think that she wanted me to come and see the house.  I had other plans for my time and thus the thoughts stated jumping.  Things like "she's going to try to coerce me into going to this open house," "she's going to be angry if I don't go," "if I go, I'll never get to the stuff I want to do," "I don't have time for this now, I need to prepare for tonight," "she shouldn't call me when I'm in the middle of something," and more.  I caught these pretty quickly and countered them with cooler thoughts.  I then reviewed My Experiences and some of my entries.  Doing that helped, though once I get excited it can take a little while to calm down.  I have a social event tonight and did some prep-work for that, so I should be good to go.

Missed a Post Yesterday

I was supposed to close yesterday, but had issues with the repairs the buyers requested.  Information was sketchy at first.  All I knew was that the buyers were not happy and that my handyman was supposed to contact the buyers' agent to find out what was wrong.  Lots of distortions, such as this will never end, the whole deal will fall through, they are holding up the deal to get more money, and more.  What did I do?  I reviewed my experiences to capture the specific distortions and then created a new entry in my event log.  It helped me capture those thoughts that were distressing me most and calm me, a bit.  I was still anxious over the whole situation, but I was better able to focus on my work and get some stuff done.  Long story short, we recorded the transfer of property with the county yesterday and today I picked up a check for the sale.  This is quite a load off me.

Just about ready to close on the house

Lost of stuff going through my head, mostly that I won't have time to do the things I need to do before we close.  I'm really jumping to conclusions here, and have been working hard to identify the few things I really need to do.  There's just a couple: look for any more keys to the house and install the smoke and CO detectors.  Really shouldn't take longer than 30 minutes.  I think I can do them all first thing in the morning without much effort.  We'll see.

Mad sure I reviewed My Experiences this Morning

As you may have seen in yesterday's post, things are getting hectic right now.  I made a point to review My Experiences and really thought about how each distortion may manifest today.  It was good to do that.  For example, all or nothing comes up as a pass/fail based on getting "everything" done.  What does "everything" mean?  All I really need is to get some things done, such as being at the house so the gas company can turn the gas back on and preparing for a telecon this afternoon.  I completed both of those as well as emptied the house of our possessions.  Jumping to conclusions popped up as forecasts of conflict and strife.  None of which happened today.  Disqualifying the Positive mostly manifested in regards to not giving myself credit for all the planning and pre-work I do to make things (work and home) happen.  I can go on, but won't.  I'm glad I made the time to review My Experiences today.  I don't always do that when things get hectic like this, but when I do it usually helps.

Interesting Day Today

I had a full day planned.  Then I learned that the house should  (not a distorted should, a real should) close this Thursday.  So, work is getting hectic, I'm picking up new projects this week, and now I have to empty my house by Thursday.  One more thing, my house was tented for termites this past weekend and the gas company will only give me a 4 hr window, so I'll need to miss work.  First thoughts: I'll never get everything done; my week is ruined; I should have had more notice of the closing date.  Look at those distortions.  One thing I did was reference the prioritization scheme.  That helped me sort out what's important and what's not.  Then I challenged some of those thoughts and I realized that I'm not alone in this, because my wife will help.  And then I scoped the effort and realized that I probably can get everything out of the house by Thursday.  The new tasks at work are spooling up slowly, which helps.  I took a power walk at lunch, which also helped.  Finally, I got to work packing the remaining things at my house this evening.  Starting on the task can really help defeat some of these thoughts.

100th Download of Trial

I just noticed that we had our 100th download of the trial version.  I hope this app is helpful for you.  I had a few hitches in the early versions of Mood Sentry Trial, most notably I had the timer crapping out about a week early, hence the poor rating on the app.  That was a hectic couple of days.  A poor rating, and the reviewer wrote in German!  I found the error and put out a fix, as well as extended the trial period for every download prior to that fix.  I should probably delete the poor rating because it does not apply to this version, but something tells me to keep it up anyway.
I may terminate the trial version in the next month or so.  I've mentioned that I've been working on a personal project at home in addition to putting the house on the market and several things at my "real" job.  Well, that personal project has been the iPhone version of Mood Sentry, which is pretty close to being complete.  I don't think I want to support 2 paid versions and 2 free versions, so I'll probably drop the free versions.  We'll see.

Had an OK Day Today

Spent the day with several other people on a hike.  I did not prepare to be around other people like I often do, and as such I think I tended to keep a little distance between myself and the others.  I just reviewed how I prepare for events like that, and I think it would have been better had I prepared.  I had a good time anyway, as did the others on the trip.
This evening, two things kind of set me off.  One was a work related phone call that I somehow missed on Friday.  That call set off some Jumping to Conclusions and Magnifications, in the form of scenarios on Monday in which I get grilled for not checking my messages and not helping when needed.  I can counter these based on experience.  I believe the person who made the call may have taken care of the situation himself.  I'll need to check on that.  If not, we'll deal with it on Monday. The other incident tonight involved a comment my wife made in regards to me thanking a person she thinks helped me sell my house.  I think my issue is related to an all or nothing interpretation of her comment.  Something like: if she thinks I need to thank someone else, then she doesn't think I deserve any of the credit for selling my house.  Nothing she said indicates any such thought on her part.  All she said is that she thinks I should thank someone who I don't think I need to thank.  That's all.
I need to review My Experiences before turning in tonight, and maybe enter a new item.

Working on Entries can be Calming

I often find that reviewing and updating entries in Mood Sentry can be calming.  I think it may be due to taking proactive action to manage my condition, and improve on that management.  Today I took the time in the morning to review my experiences, and actually read through them all.  That helped prepare me for my day.  I had a meeting after lunch and recognized that I was forecasting conflict.  I caught those thoughts and did some reflection and counter thoughts before the meeting.  That really helped.  Then this evening, I took some time to update a couple of entries I have related to not equating work with worth.   That act helped me unwind from a fairly stressful day, as did a long walk with my wife.

Rough Day at Work

When I fired up my computer I noticed a couple of e-mails related to 2 different tasks I'm supporting, both of which became very hot over night.  I had some time to review My Experiences and found that helpful.  In particular my entry on Disqualifying the Positive.  That one entry has come in handy over the past week.  It's funny how I can capture things that seem to go in and out of relevance.  I had an opportunity to review an entry on the topic of "I am not my work," which I took a moment to update.  There were other items I reviewed, but these two were quite handy today.  It's good to keep generating entries and reviewing them periodically.

Working on New Videos

I'm going to develop some videos that are specific to each function, such as My Experiences, or Daily Goals.  These will be short, maybe 2 minutes at most, but have more detail than the general overview videos I have out there now.  Is there anything you find confusing that I might be able to clear up?  Let me know via comment, or via the support page.

Had a Better Day Today

I actively worked my mood today.  I reviewed a couple of "My Experiences" this morning, ones that I thought were relevant to what's driving my mood these days.  Late this afternoon I went back to "My Experiences" and reviewed several more entries and discovered that there were more thoughts at play.  For example, this morning I reviewed Overgenerlizations and Jumping to Conclusions thinking those were some of my main mood drivers.  This afternoon I reviewed those two as well as Magnification-Minimization, Mental Filter, Disqualifying the Positive, and Emotional Reasoning.  I found that all of these have been playing some role in my mood these days, and the identified mitigation techniques helped.  Even though I created all these entries sometimes I still get surprised at how effective they can be.

Porpoising Today

Up and down in mood.  Mostly driven by the new project at work, that has yet to begin.  I'll settle down once the project is authorized and funded.  Until then, I'm racked with forecasts of failure and never ending problems countered by thoughts of success and a reasonable workload.  Feeling like I don't have time to do the things I want, but when I look back on my day I can see that I got plenty done.  That helps.

Did OK today

Woke up, reviewed some entries and set some goals.  Hit the three main goals and a few more to boot.  I did have a bout with anger in the afternoon, driven by should statements.  It had to do with a screen door I installed last week.  It was actually a very minor mistake on my part.  I tackled those thoughts pretty quickly.  I'm having some low level anxiety about an upcoming project at work.  I'm lead on this project, and if you have red some of these posts you might guess that I've been jumping to conclusions, none of which are good.  I have been balancing the negative thoughts with more positive and realistic thoughts, which has helped temper my mood a bit.  Good stuff.  I have some custom entries in my app related to new projects that I'll review in the morning.

Overcome by Emotional Reasoning...

I really hate to admit this, but I feel a need to.  I was just working on an update to the app and realized that none of the references were not loading.  I jumped to the conclusion that I broke the app.  Note that I was running on a simulator.  To aggravate things, out cockatiel was "cheeping" away right behind me.  I was trying to figure out what when wrong, the bird was cheeping, and I planned to stop working on the app a half hour ago.  I found myself in a bad mood, and was focused on all the things that were sub-optimal in my life.  If forgot to check the lawn mower today, the new project at work is going to be quite a handful, I'll need to fix the app, do some work stuff, mow the lawn, and more tomorrow.  There won't be any time for me.  And the bird won't shut up.  Anyway, I took a little break and when I came back I realized that the modem crapped out for a minute or two.  All is well now.  It's funny how quickly my thoughts can hijack my mood.

Getting Better at Catching My Thoughts

The app helps me recognize what's driving my mood.  It seems it's often the same thoughts popping up, mostly forecasts of the stuff hitting the fan and me having to fix it all.  That sounds like a personalization.  I've never really looked at my forecasts as possibly being the product of personalization.  Hmmm.  I'll try to develop a counter thought in real-time...

Stuff does hit the fan on occasion, but those occasions are rare.  When it does, I'm pretty good at analyzing the situation and assembling a team to address the issue.  I really can't think of a time during which I wasn't able to get a competent team together to fix a problem.  Looking back on today, even though there was a flurry of e-mails on certain topics, no "stuff" hit the fan.

Not bad.  What do you think?

Feeling Good Today

I slept pretty well last night, which helped a lot.  I found myself forecasting today but have been getting pretty good results pushing my thoughts to a positive outcome.  I still see things like e-mails and automatically think that there's some sort of bad news contained within, that my whole day will be ruined by what ever is contained in that little notice.  However, I'm getting better at opening them and discovering that there's really nothing catastrophic inside.  Not bad.

Under the Weather Today

Didn't sleep well last night, and had low energy, nausea, and a very scratchy throat today.  I left work early because I was not feeling well.  I have to share that last night, when tossing and turning, I was ruminating on the upcoming day's events.  I caught myself forecasting conflict, failure, and emergency after emergency.  I was able to imagine the opposite of these extremes, such as people patting me on the back and congratulating me.  Then I was able to think about a happy medium, somewhere in the middle where I simply got the job done with maybe a thank you or two.  That helped with my mood, but the heat and humidity (for So Cal) still kept me awake.

Caught a lot of Forecasting Today

I took last Friday off and thus was expecting a lot of e-mails when I checked my inbox today.  Along with that expectation came a general feeling of the stuff hitting the fan.  With every e-mail I opened, I was expecting an urgent action on my part, or even an emergency that needed to be addressed last Friday.  No such thing.  I noted that, and then reflected that such occurrences are infrequent and when they do happen are important and higher priority than the items I was planning to work on.  I then needed to contact some people (customers) and again expected conflict.  That wasn't the case either.  Actually, they stated that they like it when I contact them.  I noted that too.  Just more data for my memory.

Thinking of Adding a new tool or two

One is for addressing specific thoughts.  This would be a two window tool, like the Event Log.  The upper window would be used to capture the thought and how it impacts you.  The bottom window would be used for counter thoughts.  If you read Dr. Burns' book "Feeling Good," then think of these as hot/cool thoughts, or TIC/TOCs.  There's another tool I'm contemplating, which would be my first 3 window tool.  That sounds like a bit much for a phone display.  The top window would be used to identify a thought that is of particular concern.  The middle window would capture a simple plan to challenge that thought.  The bottom window would be a status window, capturing how you are doing to the plan.  I need to think about this a bit more.

Another Tough Day

Still ruminating on things.  I tried something new (for me) this evening.  What I did was write down a major task/todo list of the main items in each of these categories: the App, Home (the sale of my house), Work, and  Other.  I dedicated one page from one of those pads realtors like to leave on my door step to each item.  As an example, for Home I had: address buyer requested repairs, tent (for termites), move the remaining items, mow lawn.  Once I had the four pages laid out, on each page I identified the thoughts associated with that list.  Then I addressed the thoughts, identifying the distortions associated with each thought.  I was feeling overwhelmed with so much stuff going on in my life, but doing this exercise helped me feel better.  This activity was kind of large for phone based app, but I might be able to break it down into something that will fit on a phone.  We'll see.

Tough Day Today

I think it was an issue with the offer on the house that set me off and tainted just about everything that I thought of.  When I look at this issue objectively, it's not that bad.  I'm using "should" statements in regards to this issue, such as the buyers should just agree with me.  However, that's not realistic.  They should tell me what they would like and what they think, which is what they did.  Once the shoulds took hold, then came the forecasting.  I don't have the time to do this (forecast, overgeneralization).  Then the other things in my life got dragged into this.  I won't have time to update the app.  Between the house and work, I'll never have time to work on the app or on my volunteer activities or read my magazines and books.  Overgeneralizations and forecasts.  I often think I won't have time to have fun or yo do the things I think are interesting.  The reality is that I usually do have time for other pursuits.  Unfortunately, when I do these other things I often find myself ruminating on distorted thoughts.  I'm thinking these thoughts may actually be the result of perfectionist thinking.  I'll work on this.

Took the Day Off

I took the time to set some goals and hit them all.  Not bad for a guy on vacation.  Usually I revisit my goals in mid-day, but today I just let them ride.  Spent a lot of time thinking about work, working on this business, and other stuff.  I did not actively address my condition today, which is kind of odd.  It's not that I didn't feel anxious or depressed, it's just that it never got that bad.  Something to think about.

My Ideal Self Entries

I created this tool to help me focus on who/how I want to be.  I have to say, I use this tool the least but always get something from it when I do.  I only have a few entries, but I think they each capture something that I want to achieve.  I got the idea for this tool from the book Psycho Cybernetics, which champions putting one's focus on what one wants, as opposed to what one doesn't want.  Does this tool work for you?

The finished well

Today started like the past couple of days, filled with a low level of anxiety and depression.  I reviewed my entries and focused on past history.  At some point I my thoughts eased up.   One thing I did was actively address some things that were on my mind.  In effect, I got up and did something.  I was thumbing through Dr. Burns' book "Feeling Good" and noted an entry related to doing something to fight those feelings of lethargy.  Sometimes I need a reminder, which is why I keep that book around.

More Forecasting

and more self talk.  I met some new customers today, I received a list of "fix its" from the buyers for my house, and I responded to an e-mail from one of the people in the non-profit I support.  All these may seem pretty benign, but I forecasted conflict and/or lost free time for each of these.  So far, none of these has turned out negative and based on my past experiences none of them will.  I've reflected on past experiences in regards to each of these, which helped a bit.  I've tried imagining the opposite of the forecast, which also helped.  This is how I use the app to manage my condition.

Woke up Today and Caught Myself Forecasting

It was good that I recognized this, and was able to capture my thoughts when I got to work and had a moment.  I have 4 big things going on right now, work, a technical project, a volunteer organization, and the house.  I was feeling some angst this morning and my thoughts involved 3 of these items. I'm getting a feeling that perfectionist goals is what drives my thoughts of not having enough time to get things done, and thus not having time for "me."  I'll work on this a bit.

Prepping for the week

I read the chapter on "Verbal Judo" in Dr. Burns' book "Feeling Good."  I have a meeting with my future customer this week in addition to my usual meetings.  I've stated before that I tend to forecast conflict and doom.  Re-reading this chapter every now and then helps me feel better about dealing with any conflict that may arise.  I think I've gotten better at handling dissent during meetings and conversations, and reading this chapter has helped.  Have a social event to attend in a bit, so I'll prepare for that.

Had a good day today

It's Saturday.  I went hiking today, on my own, but took a few minutes to review my entries in the app and set some goals.  Yes, one was to reach the peak.  I was glad I took the time to review my entries because I had been thinking about an upcoming meeting at work and was forecasting conflict.  Because of that, I was feeling stressed and anxious when I arrived at the trailhead.  Reviewing my entries reminded me that I tend to have such thoughts and that one thing I can do is imagine the opposite.  So that's what I did.  It helped me.  I also recognized that I was engaged in some emotional reasoning related to those thoughts, and thus I had been focusing on the negative aspect of other things in my life, things not related to work.  Recognizing this helped too.  It was a pretty good day.

Was busy today...

But I made the time to use the app and was glad I did.  I made the time in the morning to briefly review my experiences.  By briefly, I reviewed my entries for overgeneralizations, forecasting, and emotional reasoning.  Then I reviewed a couple of items related to difficult tasks and the development pattern/cycle.  I'm involved with some highly technical tasks these days and reviewing those entries helps me defeat things like overgeneralizations and forecasts.  I worked through lunch but realized I would be better off if I made some time to review my mid-day reminder, and then re-reviewed some of My Experiences.  I felt a bit better after that, and finished the day reflecting on my accomplishments and now finishing this blog.

Jumping to Conclusions drove my mood today

I had a meeting with a new customer this morning, first thing.  My forecasts of conflict and rejection were not realized.  What I needed was to review my entries before the telecon, not after (way after in this case).  The call was the first thing in the morning for me and I didn't have the time to  prepare.  Then I got busy with other telecons and some highly technical tasks, which still interfered with reviewing relevant entries in the app.  The result was some low grade porpoising into and out of depression/anxiety throughout the day. All my telecons went well, there was no conflict and people appreciated my input.  That's typical.  This evening I made the time to reflect back on my experiences today, which has helped.

Getting back to my Groove

I've gotten a lot better recently using Mood Sentry, reviewing My Experiences in the morning, checking out some tool entries, and just using it to keep on top of my moods.  Nothing special to report today.  I'm feeling stressed, anxious, and depressed at times, but I'm mitigating those feelings via my entries in the app.

What a Monday

Arrived at work feeling anxious and depressed. Reviewed "My Experiences" and recognized emotional reasoning.  Thought about it for a bit, and tried to figure out what set me off.  Couldn't identify anything in particular.  It just seemed that when I thought about what I had to do today, all I saw was time consuming tasks that would bog me down.  I recognized forecasting and pushed my thoughts to the opposite, seeing success.  That helped a bit.  I had a good day and accomplished all my daily goals.  Not bad.

Finishing up a good weekend

The wife and I took the time to enjoy each other's company these past couple of days.  I used the app, mostly in the morning, to look ahead to the days planned events and ID potential distorted thoughts.  It helped, but wasn't really needed.  It was just the two of us, and when that's the case I tend to do pretty well.  I'll think about tomorrow and set some goals, then go to sleep.

Had a Good Day Today

I kept myself pretty busy today, and didn't really open the app.  It's odd, because I can see that I set some goals for myself, and actually hit them all.  I set the goals last night.  That's pretty good.  It seems that simply setting some goals can help keep me motivated and active.  Looking back on today, I got a lot of stuff done.  I'll now take a moment to set some goals for tomorrow.

Taking a Vacation Day tomorrow

It is a good time for me to take a break.  I'll work the app a bit, and review some entries.  I'll also be meeting with an escrow agent in regards to the house.  I've already heard that there are some odd things on the title search.  It used to be that I'd get anxious on hearing of errors in reports like that and the resultant thoughts like: this is totally ruined, or I'll never get this resolved.  I'm better at catching things like that.  I'll meet with the escrow agent and take care of what I need to, and let them do their job.  I expect mistakes will be made, and I expect we'll resolve them fairly efficiently.  Feeling OK right now.  Good night.

Another Good Day with the App

Started out pretty good, reviewed my experiences with the day's events in mind.  I'm still not sleeping great, and that seems to be impacting my mood, but I still get a benefit from reviewing things.  At lunch time I made room for some "me" time and reviewed my daily goals.  I realized I hadn't set any, so I took the time to reflect on what I accomplished and some goals I could have set, and then set some goals for the rest of the day.  I finished the day with a review of several entries I have that are related to work.  Good stuff.