Not Much to Add Beyond Yesterday

Still working those new essays.  I think they are helping.  Funny how a simple reminder regarding how interactions and tasks typically play out can help quench my forecasts of conflict and quagmires.  I took a moment to review those two essays in mid day in addition to my morning review.  Reflecting on past experiences when reviewing these entries I think makes the entries more effective.  It was another, pretty good day.

A Pretty Good Day Today

I made the time to review My Experiences and a couple of relevant essays this morning just before work (as my computer was booting up).  It helped.  I reviewed a couple of essays I wrote that relate to how interactions and tasks typically play out.  These got me thinking about the upcoming tasks and interactions, and helped my get my forecasts tempered a bit.  Doing this got my day to a good start.

Have you worked with your therapist?

If you have checked the hints in the app, you may have noticed that I often suggest that if you don't know where to begin, check with your therapist.  I'm wondering if any of you have used this app in session and worked with your therapist.  Has anyone worked with their therapist to tailor how a distortion manifests during your day?  What about developing a mitigation?  How about tailoring the reminders?  I've reviewed some of my tool entries in-session.  The app is a handy place to store thoughts and easy to reference in-session.  Just checking to see if anyone has done the same, and if it helped you.

Caught Myself "not Forecasting"

Today was fairly hectic at work.  I had multiple things going on that required my full attention.  I had several telecons with customers, and needed to be prepared for each.  The preparation on my part was minor, but added to the other duties I had today it was a bit much.  Typically, when interactions are in the near future I start to forecast conflict and failure.  However, today I noticed that I wasn't forecasting like I typically do.  At least not at that time.  I was forecasting a fairly neutral to somewhat positive interaction.  I'm not sure what made me notice that something was different, but it just suddenly dawned on me that I was not stressing on the upcoming meeting.  I made a note of this.  Now, reflecting back on the day's interactions, none of them went bad.  None turned into conflict, and none turned into failure.  This is typical for me, and a good thing for me to remember.

How Things Went Today

So over the holiday weekend I was flopping in and out of depression/anxiety and neutral, spending about 50% of my time in each.  This  was all over an issue that popped up at work last Wednesday.  I was countering thoughts of failure and conflict with counter thoughts that were either neutral or positive.  I was countering these thoughts by reflecting on past experiences, which were rarely as bad as I had forecast.  I was countering these thoughts with facts, such as I really didn't have all the facts and therefore didn't know if the situation was that bad to begin with.  So today I set out to better assess the situation.  I was contacting people to get data relevant to the issue, cost, schedule, funding available, stuff like that.  What I learned was that we don't have an issue at this time.  We're close to having an issue, but are expecting more funds to come in any day now.  There it was again.  My typical pattern of forecasting catastrophe and finding out later that things are not so bad.  Is there any good news here? Yes.  It used to be that the split between depression/anxiety and neutral was more like 80%, 20% (neutral).  I used to be more of a wreck with stuff like this.  I feel I'm getting better at handling stuff like this.

Still Waffling

Having tough time with this issue.  I did spend time trying to scope the issue today and don't think it will be as bad as I forecast.  Based on my experiences, things are rarely as bad as I predict.  Imagining positive outcomes has helped, though I have a tendency to dismiss those as not being likely to happen.  I'll see what happens tomorrow.  In the meantime, I'll reflect on some of my entries related to forecasting.  I'll let you know what happens tomorrow.

Waffling today

I was bouncing in and out of a depressed mood today, mostly driven by the work issue.  I'm getting better at challenging those forecasts, mostly by considering alternative scenarios that are either positive or neutral.  I did spend some time today assessing the situation, and do not think it is as bad as my forecasts.  We'll see how things develop on Monday.

I Think I'm Making Progress on Forecasting

I think this because there's something going on in my work life regarding a mistake I made.  I'm forecasting how the interactions will turn out, and some of them are fairly neutral.  I still have the forecasts that contain conflict and put downs, but I have others that are have a more proactive nature.  My typical response to mistakes is to forecast conflict and put downs, and then ruminate on those thoughts.  What's going on now is different for me.  I'll keep working on this and see how things go on Monday when I get to work.

What I'm Thankful For

This is my first Thanksgiving blog, so I'll be fairly traditional in regards to blogging.  I'm thankful for my wife.  Before we started dating, I felt I needed to come clean about my battle with depression.  I hadn't told many people about this part of my life, so I was nervous.  There was no need to be.  She was very understanding and supportive of me, and still is.  I'm thankful for my therapist, who introduced me to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and to Dr. Burns' book "Feeling Good."  This has really helped me manage my condition.  I'm thankful to Dr. Burns for writing the aforementioned book, which I still reference, and of course I'm thankful to Dr. Beck for developing and nurturing this therapeutic approach to mood management.

How's the App Working?

Does the app function OK?  Does the drop down menu work?  Can you double tap to edit?  Has anyone experienced a crash?  I should see a report if the app crashes, and saw one when I first released the app, but haven't seen anything yet.  Let me know if there are any issues.  Have a Happy Thanksgiving tomorrow.

A Pretty Good Day

Hit the app first thing in the morning again today.  It really helps when I use the app the first thing in the morning.  I don't always review "My Experiences."  Sometimes I jump right into the tools and just start reviewing essays or observations or events.  Those 3 are the ones I use most, and if I think about my day and what I'll be doing I can usually find a relevant entry or two.  Doing that helps me start the day off with a feeling of confidence in terms of managing my thoughts and mood.

Did Pretty Good Today

I was feeling somewhat anxious  this morning, as I often do on Monday morning.  It was just a feeling that the "stuff" was going to hit the fan.  I made sure I used the app, and started the day reviewing My Experiences and a couple of Tools entries I thought were relevant.  I set some goals and got back to work.  I took a walk at lunch time and tried focusing on the tension in my shoulders to get those muscles to relax.  I reviewed my mid-day reminder and some of my goals, and realized that I was doing pretty good.  I was able to gradually defeat that feeling of doom, but I really had to work at it.  I still have my evening reminder coming up, at which time I'll further reflect on my day and my accomplishments.

How are the Examples

I've included my own entries to serve as examples for you, the users.  Some of the examples have been modified a bit since I released the app, but the modifications are minor.  I included my own entries to show how I use the app as well as provide a level of consistency between the examples.  My belief is that the consistency will result in a better understanding of how the different tools can be used.  However, this creates a risk that the user may not be able to relate to my experiences and thus find the tool less than useful.  So I'm wondering: are the examples too different from your own experiences to be of use to you?

The Reminders

The reminder examples I have are fairly involved.  The original version of each was much simpler.  The morning reminder simply told me to review my experiences with my day in mind, the mid-day reminder simply asked what's gone well today, and the evening reminder was a simple reflection and then think about tomorrow.  The more I used them and the app, the more I added to each.  If you are using the reminders, try to keep them simple at first.  Figure out if you even need a reminder, if so what you need, and then build from there.

Ambushing Therapists?

I often wonder if I'm ambushing therapists with my hints that suggest asking your therapist if you don't know where to begin.  I'm hoping that any therapist specializing in CBT will be able to pick up on the intent of the app and help you, the patient, through the experience.  I haven't sold that many apps at this time, so this probably hasn't come up yet.  I imagine a therapist would drop me a line if they saw an issue.

Use in Therapy

I often pull out my phone during a therapy session and review an entry.  I use the phone to record thoughts, which for me is an on-going process.  I'll record a disturbing thought after it happens, and return to that entry over the next couple of weeks to revise it until it really captures my thought.  I know some people who can sit down and write things that are coherent right from the start, but that's not me.  I really need to analyze my thoughts and revise the write-up a few times before it becomes coherent.  Then I can review the entry with my therapist.

Persistent Access

One of the reasons I created this mobile app was for the persistent access a phone based app provides.  Access to references, access to my experiences, access to the tools.  Having something I can reference wherever I am, at any time, is good for me.  Sometimes I need to find a secluded spot to use the app, such as a conference room at work, but usually I can just use it where I am.  Reviewing my entries when my thoughts start to run away can help lessen their impact on my mood.  Sometimes it reduces the intensity, sometimes it reduces the duration, sometime it reduces both.  I'm glad I created it.

iPhone Version is Now Available

Over the summer I was very busy with my day job, getting my house ready to sell (and then selling it), and a special project I would mention every now and then.  That special project was the iPhone version of Mood Sentry.  I submitted that version for review to the apple store last week and learned last night that is was ready of sale.  It looks very similar to the Android version and should function much the same.  However, now that I'm supporting both an Android version and an iPhone version, I had to give something up.  That something is the free trial version for Android.  I just don't have the time to support that any more.  As such, I decided to keep the price at the special rate of $1.99 for the foreseeable future to lessen the impact of trying Mood Sentry.

All or Nothing Thinking Today

Took the day off and was feeling kind of anxious/uneasy about the day.  I was planning on exploring LA with my wife and just kept thinking the day was going to be a bust.  I tracked it down to all or nothing thinking.  I kept imagining that something wouldn't go well, or the places we wanted to visit would be closed (Veteran's Day).  Thus, my day would be ruined.  Once I realized that this type of thinking was driving my mood I was able to address it and minimize the impact.  Yes, the app helped, but it was the effort that I put into challenging the thoughts that really helped.  Note that I believe this type of thinking has hampered my day on multiple occasions.  I now know what to look for and will be more diligent.

Got Hung Up Today

Mostly it was driven by Mental Filtering on something from this morning, which drove emotional reasoning throughout the day.  The result is a feeling of sadness.  I've gone back and addressed the thought that set me off as best I can.  That helped a bit.  Looking back on my day, I had a pretty good day full of activities and a couple of things completed that I had been putting off for a few days.  Good stuff.  I need to get  back to that initial thought and see if I can better manage it.

Thinking about 86ing the Support Page

it really doesn't get used much.  We've only had one entry to date, other than what I've entered.  My intent was to create a forum for people to post successes and questions, and essentially help each other use the app.  So far, it hasn't worked out that way.  I thought it was a great idea, but so far it's just been an idea.  I'll keep it for the near term, and re-evaluate it next year.

Other than the app

There are other things I do to manage my mood, beyond using the app.  One thing I do is get exercise every day.  You may have seen me advising myself to get moving in some of my example entries.  I power walk, hike, kayak, and workout in the gym.  Not all of those every day, but at least one of those every day.  I try to take breaks at work.  For example, today I took off at lunch and shopped at the local farmer's market.  I also try to make time for myself, "me" time, and usually read a magazine during those periods.  Finally, I'll read self help books to help me better understand my condition and maybe work through an issue.  What about you?

Have you tried the Prioritization Scheme?

Every now and then I ask this.  It's the tool I'm most uncomfortable with because it seems to useless.  It just seems that having a simple scheme like those to identify high to low priorities would be useful in only limited instances.  However, over the summer when I was getting my house ready to put on the market and then selling the house, that tool helped a lot.  The schemes were generic enough that they helped me identify what I needed to work on in times when I felt overwhelmed.  Hmmm.  I'm kind of feeling that way at work these days.  I'll review this tool first thing in the morning to see if it helps me at work.

Feeling stressed today

I'm porpoising in and out of a stressful state.  Grabbing the phone and reviewing entries is helping.  This is something I've had to address for most of my life.   I'm getting better at it.  I think taking on more responsibility at work is both causing more stress as well as helping me work through it.  Odd.  One reason I don't try to find another job is for the opportunity to work through all this.

Still Working that Daily Goals Modification

I think I like having a couple of related items on each line or things to accomplish   It's a bit more useful and doesn't require me to update any java code.  I have enough characters allocated to each line, so it seems to work from a functional standpoint.  Funny how even after a year of using this, I come up with new ways that it can help me.  Has any one out there tried entering more than one thing to accomplish on a line?

Tried Something Different with Daily Goals

I had a lot of stuff on my plate today, and all of it seemed important.  I was trying to figure out how I could use the Daily Goals tool to help track what I need to do.  I was going to id 3 things to do, get them done, then replace those items with 3 new things.  That felt cumbersome.  What I did was jot down a couple of things to do in each line.  I kept them related, so things on one line were complementary.  I think I like this and will try it again tomorrow.  It addresses a question I have had related to adding more entires for things to accomplish.  I guess I don't need to do that now.

The Other Low Usage Tool

I mentioned that I rarely use the cost benefit tool in a recent blog.  The other least used tool is the Ideal Self tool.  When I first created this tool I thought "why do I need more than one entry?"  My thought was that one ideal self goal should be adequate.  I just felt that focusing on one ideal self at a time would be the best I can do.   Right now I have 4, including the example which of course was my first entry in the tool.  The other 3 have to do with eating healthy, treating other people well, and living in the present.  Each can can serve as a reminder of who I'd like to be, and depending on the situation any one of them can be the one I really need to focus on.

Did OK Last Night

I still got overwhelmed with all the commotion and people.  I withdrew a bit and found some "space" for myself.  Not bad.  Today was pretty good.  I thought about what I wanted to do and planned my day a bit. I found some time for fun and even worked in a wine tasting. I reviewed a couple of entries in the app and modified them for clarity.  I like reviewing and re-reviewing my entries because it helps me get a better handle on what really drives my thoughts and moods.  How about you?

Have a Social Event Tonight

If you've been following this blog, you know I need to prepare a bit for social events.  Tonight is dinner and an art stroll with friends.  I have some entries on the app related to events like these.  I'll review them in preparation for this evening.  It's mostly the seemingly constant draw on my attention from seemingly every angle that gets to me.  Sometimes I need a little break, and reminding myself before hand that I may need a break can help.  Off to review my entries.

Cost Benefits Analysis

The Cost Benefit analysis is the tool I use least.  I'm not sure why.  I have only 3 custom entries in this tool.  I was reviewing them this evening and felt good reading them, but didn't find them particularly insightful.  They were kind of sterile.  I'm going to think about these and see if I can make the ones I have more pertinent, or maybe figure out if there is a better way to use this tool.  How about you?  Do you use this tool?