Distortions on Vacation

I'll keep this short since i'm using my phone.  My issues are fewer, but I still am prone to mind reading and all or nothing thinking.  Sometimes I catch these early.  I'll keep working on these.

Going on Vacation

I'm going on vacation, but still need to use the app and will still try to make time for this blog.  Why do I still need to use the app when I'm on vacation?  Because those thought processes that can drive anxiety and depression are always with me, looking for something to distort.  I'll be ready for them.  I'll set little goals for myself and make sure I take the time to look at what's gone well each  day.  One thing in my favor is that I'll be doing physical activities during my break, and that often helps me feel better.  Also, having a lower level of activity in my life (because I'm not at the office) will also help.  Looking forward to some time away.

For those iPhone users, I see that the updated app is on iTunes.  Good luck.  I did  my best to make sure your custom entries transfer to the new database.  Contact "support@moodappsllc.com" if you have any issues.   Actually, if the update goes well and everything works fine, contact me and tell me that.  There are not that many of us users, so you won't inundate me.

My Experiences in Reverse

One thing I do on occasion is review "My Experiences" in reverse order, or even from a random starting point.  For me, reviewing my entries in the same order every time is functional and helps me.  However, when I mix things up a bit, such as reviewing the distortions in reverse order, it breaths a bit of fresh air into the process and kind of invigorates me.  Sometime I just start from what ever distortion is displayed when I open "My Experiences."  In that case I can go in either order, up or down.  Starting from a different point puts a little more emphasis on the first few items and I think is a good thing is something worth doing every now and then.

Worked the App into My Morning

I got to work and started doing things right away, which didn't leave any time for me to review Mood Sentry.  However, I found the time to take a break mid-morning and review the app, which really helped.  Things are are a bit hectic at work, and my stress is high because I need to find a project to support next month as soon as I can.  It's not good to only have half my time covered by a project, I need all my time covered.  This is kind of getting to me.  However, making the time to review the app really helped me get my thoughts in order.  I'm liking some of the updates I made to the examples in this latest version because they are relate to what's really driving my moods these days, and I think they capture the gist of the distortion a bit better.  Those on iPhones will have to wait to see what I mean.  The iPhone version is still in review.  Those apple folks take pride in their offerings and like to make sure things are pretty good before they release them.

Will it Matter in 100 Years?

At lunch today I got away from the office.  I'm still going through a fairly hectic time at work and was stressed out by lunch.  I reviewed some entries in Mood Sentry and then picked up a book by Rick Brinkman and Rick Kirschner called "Dealing with People you Can't Stand: Bringing out the Best in People at Their Worst."  I had been reading this book earlier in the year but put it down for other priorities.  I started reading it where I left off and in this chapter they talked about not letting what other people do bother you.  One test was the title of this blog entry, will it matter in 100 years?  That got me thinking about applying it to the some of my distortions.  So I thought about the things that are most stressful to me, the primary one being if I'll have enough work for myself in a month or two.  I then asked myself if it will matter in 100 years, and the answer was no.  Of course not.  As a matter of fact, not much of what I do will matter in 100 years, so why worry?  Oddly enough, this test helped reduce my stress a bit and made it easier to go back to work.

Lots of Anxiety Today

The issues at work are wearing on me.  The funny thing is that it's forecasting that has the most impact.  If I simply look at how things are at any moment, such as this one, things are OK.  I keep pushing my thoughts to the future, which isn't here yet, and I see tragedy, conflict, and strife.  However, there are plenty of good outcomes too, and it just seems more likely that something good will happen.  Why? Because when I look how things have been unfolding I see that all the people involved want to see the project succeed.  So why the stress?  I'll think about this.

Had a Rough Day Today

Today was rough for me because there was a lot of interaction with others and activities around me.  I prepared by reviewing some of my entries related to social situations, which helped, but I was still a bit frazzled by mid-afternoon and still had more to do in the evening.  I'm not sure what the best I can do on a day like today is.  I was on a boat for the late morning/early afternoon portion of the day, so there was limited space for me to "get away"  and decompress.  This isn't a frequent occurance and so I have had few opportunities to find ways of dealing with situations like this.  I just get stressed being clustered with people like I am on a boat, particularly when I have to interact with them.  Later in the early evening I was in a busy restaurant with family.  It's not the family part that gets to me, it's all the commotion and noise around me that distract me and leave me feeling exhausted.  Today was an exceptional day in terms of things that are tough on my senses.  I won't worry about this too much but will consider updating my entries in Mood Sentry to reflect and maybe capture something helpful in the future.

Didn't Review the App Today Until this Evening

I didn't review the app today until this evening.  I think the reason is that I've been fairly busy with work activities and updating the app that I just wanted a break from all of it today.  I found myself ruminating on work stuff and future app updates throughout the day.  I think these ruminations are a type of Mental Filter.  Regarding work, they are related to things that are not going well.  Regarding the app, they are related to the next set up updates that I hope to have done in a month or two and will require some new programming skills.  Looking at my example in the My Experiences for this distortion I tell myself to focus on what's going well.  For work, I have multiple things that are going well.  For the app, that's not really what I need to do.  For the app ruminations I need to focus on my typical learning MO in which I research, try stuff, research some more, try stuff, and repeat until I figure something out.  I have an entry related to learning new things that I'll review later this evening.

Updated App

I updated the app, both the Android and iTunes versions.  The Android version will be available for download very soon if it is no already so.  The iTunes version is in review.
On Android, I changed the way the "Reminders" function.  When a reminder pops-up, the back key now takes you to the home page rather than exits the app.
On iTunes, I corrected a bug in some of the tools.  You can now rename a custom entry, such as a Cost Benefit analysis or an Event you captured.
On both Android and iTunes, I updated a few of the examples for clarity and correctness to my current state.  I also corrected a few typos in the database and the hints file.
You customized database entries should transfer to the updated database without incident.  It may take a minute to complete the update depending on the number of entries you have.

Still Feeling Better

This has been a waffling kind of day, though more neutral feeling than low.  I had a meeting scheduled this morning which had the typical forecasts of gloom and doom, but I was able to manage them somewhat and counter them with some recent and applicable data.  I've met with all these people fairly recently and had a feeling that they were all interested in a positive, proactive outcome.  That helped counter those nagging thoughts, which indicates that the thoughts are still there but manageable.  I did some other things too that helped.  One thing I'm stressed about is job uncertainty.  So what can I do about that? I'm taking a class to refresh my project management knowledge and I applied for a couple of jobs outside my company, but also outside my current industry.  I just don't feel like waiting around to be another victim of this economy.  We'll see how things go.

Feeling a Bit Better Today

Before heading into my building at work, I paused and thought about how I expected things to unfold.  I had some pressing items to address, right from the time my computer booted.  I was a bit anxious before entering the building, but stopping and putting things in perspective helped me stay ahead of distorted thoughts.  Another thing I did was actively recognize when things didn't go as predicted or anticipated.  Things generally went well today.  My anxiety would still build, but I was able to keep it and the resultant depressed mood in check.  Not a bad day.

Almost Ready with the Next Update

I've fixed a bug, updated some of the examples in the database, updated some of the hints for clarity, corrected some typo's and did a lot of structural stuff.  One thing that always concerns me is a database update.  I'm very cautious with database updates because I never want to lose anyone's data in the process.  I was debating whether or not to touch the database, but I decided to do it.  It'll be better.  I'll have this update out this weekend.

Android "Feature"

There's a little feature in the Android version of the app that involves daylight savings time.  The alarm in the android version doesn't account for the time change.  If you use the android version of Mood Sentry, please cycle the on/off button for each alarm you have set to get the correct alarm time. If you use the iPhone version, then you don't have to deal with this issue.

I had a Pretty Good Day Today

I was feeling somewhat anxious and depressed at the start of the day.  It just felt like I had  a lot of things to do and not enough time to do them all.  A couple of things I did was check priorities to help figure out what's important and what can wait.  Another thing I did was think a bit more about how much time each item would really take.  That wasn't too difficult to do and can really help me.  Most things that I have to do, when I really think about it, don't take that long.  It's the end of the day and I got to just about everything I planned to. Note that the few things I didn't get to were superseded by a couple of things I didn't know I had to do at the start of the day.  I'm feeling pretty good about today.  I'll prep for tomorrow and turn in.

Emotional Reasoning

Emotional Reasoning is a big thing with me.  It doesn't take much to set me in downward mood and once I get in one it's tough to get out.  The app helps, simply by helping me document what works and providing quick access to what works.  Today I was having trouble with both my computers, my PC and my Mac.  The PC issue had to do with software for backing up my hard drive and the Mac issue had to do with testing the new version of the software on a device.  The combination of both really set me off with thoughts of never getting things done, losing all my free time, and a few others.  The prioritization scheme helped by showing my that some of the stuff I won't get to isn't important.  I did the important stuff.  The daily goals helped because I hit just about all the stuff I had on there, which was pretty good.  I have an observation related to Tough Tasks and an event log related to Pop-Up Tasks, both of which helped me see how things typically pan out (which is pretty good).  Getting in a funk isn't hard for me, getting out is getting easier.

Mood Sentry Color Scheme

The background is black to help the battery life.  I tend to take a while when composing my custom entries, thought it would be best to keep the background dark to preserve battery life.  The letters are not quite white, they are actually a 25% gray color (0% gray is white).  The blue on the left to yellow on the right is my  way of indicating going from blue to sunny.  I know that's kind of silly, but I like it.

Feeling on the Edge All Day Today

Work is still a bit hectic which has me feeling on the edge.  I bounce around anxiety and depression, waiting for the "stuff" to hit the fan.  When multiple things hit at once I tend to handle it very well, so why the stress and worry? The app helps, but I've found that doing anything with the intention of managing my mood helps.  Today I sneaked away from the office at lunch and worked on some updates to the examples in the My Experiences feature of the app.  I think getting away from the office helped about as much as digging into my thoughts in relation to All of Nothing, Overgeneralization, and Personalization.  Looking back on today, I did fairly well.  Things do pop-up and I handled all of them well.  One thing I've noticed, is that quite often when something pops up out of the blue I can often delay when I have to address it.  Wonder why that's so tough to remember in the moment?

Pop-Up Tasks

During my day things pop-up that need to be addressed.  This happens every day and most of these are fairly benign tasks that are quickly resolved.  However, sometimes these things are urgent and can really stress me out.  If you've read this blog you might guess that I forecast spending "all" my free time on this task, not getting to work on the things I'd like, and other distorted thoughts.  Yesterday was a hectic day and I was hit with several pop-up items that all seemed urgent and high priority.  I handled them pretty well and later in the day reviewed my event log to see that I already have an entry related to pop up tasks.  In the Event-Thoughts box I cover thinking that my day will be ruined, that I'll be stuck at work for a long time, and that I won't get any of the rest of my tasks done.  In the Mitigating Ideas box I tell myself  to look for things that can be delayed, prioritize, recognize that some things can be completed quickly, and a couple of more ideas.  That's exactly what I did yesterday. I prioritized, performed triage and did enough work on some that I could delay completion until today, and some other stuff.  It felt good reading that entry while reflecting back on my day.  I felt more comfortable with how I handled the events and also recognized that I've gotten better and handling pop-up tasks from an emotional standpoint.

Working on Updates to the Examples

I've been working on updates to the examples in Mood Sentry.  Just a couple of them, and mostly for clarity.  The examples in My Experiences for All or Nothing and Overgeneralization are a bit off, so I'm tuning them. It's actually a pretty good exercise for me and is helping me dig a bit deeper into each of these distortions.  I've said before that the entries in the app are not static, one-off write ups.  They are living and intended to be modified over time as I learn more about myself and even as I improve.  I'm also updating the personalization example.  It's close, but I've learned more about how personalization drives my mood over the  past couple of months and I want to capture that in the example.  These updates will be in the next release of the app, once I get them in the database and checked out.

Check out the Hints

If you're new to Mood Sentry then take some time and check out the hints.  On Android you'll need to bring up the menu.  I tried tailoring the hints to each page/function.  I provided them to give guidance on how I use the app, as well as the basic functions of Mood Sentry.  I think it will be worth you time to check them out.

Slept Better Last Night

That helped a lot.  I also had a list of some goals for today.  I managed to hit them all plus a few more.  However, during the day I'd get this feeling of sadness driven by thoughts that I wasn't getting anything done and that I was wasting my day doing nothing.  I was able to catch those thoughts and simply reflect back on what I had done.  That helped lessen the feeling.  Sometimes I go through bouts like these past couple of weeks.  I'm better at catching the associated thoughts and perceptions that can drive my mood, which helps lessen their impact.  I took some time to prepare for tomorrow before going to bed tonight.  I prepared some goals and thought about how I'll handle tomorrow.  Preparing like this is another thing I do to help manage my mood.

Another Not So Good Night's Sleep

I woke early and had all these thoughts running though my head.  Fretting on work issues and non-work issues.  I think I was just convincing myself that I'm overwhelmed.  I got out and walked this morning with a group of walkers and then kayaked.  The physical exercise helped.  I wanted to pull the app out and review my entries, but for some reason I kept letting other things distract me.  This evening I finally spent some time reviewing my app, after getting one thing done that I have been wanting  to do, which involves documenting some database items.  Getting something done did help me to feel a little better, as it usually does.  Looking through the app, I'm thinking it's emotional reasoning driven in part by a lack of sleep with complications from forecasting and all or nothing thinking.  When I look at my prioritization scheme, I can see that one of the things on my mind at home really isn't that important.  It's a nice to have, but not and urgent thing.  Of the important stuff, I finished reviewing the taxes, so that's done and helps a bit.  I have an update to the app pending.  I think finishing the checkout of the update will help a lot.  We'll see.  I'll review the app before turning in tonight to see if I can get some of these non-important things off my mind.

A Good Nights Sleep Really Helped

I got a good night's sleep last night and it helped a lot today.  I think emotional reasoning kicks in when I'm tired and really impacts my perception of events.  It was easier to make the time to review my entries in the app and manage my mood.  I still have lots of stuff going on at work and the associated forecasts, but I'm able to catch those thoughts more quickly when I'm rested.  Nothing big to report today other than I'm feeling a bit better now that I've caught up on some of my sleep.

Did OK Today, not Great, but not Bad

Today was OK.  Not as good as yesterday.  I haven't been sleeping well the past few weeks which I think is catching up on me.  I'm tired which may be driving emotional reasoning and helping to make things seem worse than they are.  I've been keeping my mood in check, which is why today was OK rather than bad.  I made time to set some goals, I made time at lunch to review some of my entries in the app, and I made time this evening.  Looking over my essays, observations, and more can help keep my mood in check.  I'll turn in earlier this evening and see if I can get a better nights sleep.  I think that will help.

I Did Pretty Good Today

I'm not sure if it had to do with my preparation last night, but the anxiety I typically feel at the start of the day was manageable.  I'll try what I did last night again and see how things go tomorrow.  I'll briefly review how things went today in reference to my customized list of distortions, and then I'll focus on tomorrow and how I want to behave.  I'll think of specific interactions I'm likely to have and then think about how I'd like to behave in those situations.  I'll make sure to set some goals.  One thing to note was that I planned on reviewing those activity logs I created in January, but I didn't fully get to that.  By "fully get to that" I mean that I did think about those logs and how they showed that things typically go fairly benignly during my day, but I didn't physically pick those logs up and read them.  I went by memory.  I've got some things to do before turning in for the night.  G'night.

The Evening Reminder

The evening reminder is kind of busy.  It directs me in two directions, both backward and forward.  The backward direction relates to looking back on my day and reflecting on how things went.  The forward direction relates to looking toward tomorrow and thinking about how I want to behave.  I've been going through a funk lately and have really only been looking backward at how things went.  This evening I did a quick check on how things went and spent some time thinking about tomorrow and how I want things to go. I set some reminders to make sure I hit the important things, which are mostly work related.  Things are getting a little dicey at work right now, mostly related to available budget.  I have to deal with that first thing in the morning.  I'm forecasting conflict and ridicule tomorrow but I'm also pushing myself to imagine things going in a fairly neutral manner.  That's helping reduce my stress this evening.  I know I work with pretty good people and the conflict and ridicule thing rarely happens.  Thinking back, I have some data I kept over a couple of weeks I can review to reinforce.  I just updated my Daily Goals to include a review of those activity logs.  Cool.  I'll see how things go in the morning.

Had a Tenuous Day Today

I was porpoising today, sinking into depression/stress and coming back out.  I was forecasting conflict and strife.  Early in the morning I remembered my mitigation strategy for stuff like this and focused on specific events I knew were coming up today. I then tried to imagine neutral outcomes, somewhat positive outcomes, and even ridiculously positive outcomes.  Doing this didn't make the feelings go away, but it did help to lessen them throughout the day.  Looking back, I'm glad that I'm getting better at recognizing what's going on and remembering my mitigation strategies.  I think that helped a lot and was the driver for not going too deep into any negative moods.

Doing Better Today

I'm dong better today, at least emotionally.  I've aggravated a nagging back issue, but I know that'll heal soon enough.  I woke this morning in a depressed mood, but managed to start my day with a brisk walk to the grocery store and then tackle some items I had on my to-do list when I got home.  Jumping on some to-do items quickly really helped my mood.  I updated our taxes and I did some reading.  I worked on the pending updates to the apps (both Android and iPhone versions) and pushed them closer to release.  I did a lot of little things, and the best part was that later in the day when I was shopping again, while standing in line for the register I realized that I was feeling OK.  I didn't have that stressful, depressed feeling that has been so common over the past week or so.  That gave me hope.  Sure the feeling is back now, mostly driven by forecasts of what tomorrow will bring at work, but just the fact that I noticed I didn't always feel this way today give me hope.  And that's a great way to end the weekend.  I'll try some of my mitigation techniques for these forecasts before turning in for the night.  I think I can lessen their effects.

Still Feeling Sad and Stressed

I'm still feeling sad and stressed.  I made the time for some physical activities today, such as power walking and kayaking, which helps reduce my symptoms for a little while.  I also made time to review Mood Sentry, thought later in the day than I typically do.  These things help, but are only doing so for a little while.  I've mentioned before that I have a lot of things on my plate right now, so getting some stuff off should help.  One thing I did today was get my first cut at our taxes done.  I should be able to get that off my plate in a week or so.  I'll let it sit and then review what I have to make sure I got it all.  Getting the taxes off my plate will help.  I still have a lot going on at work, I have an app update that I'll try to get done by mid-March, and we're starting to look for a house, so there's still lots to go.  I'll focus on one thing at a time, try to get stuff off my plate as quickly as I can, and see how things go over the next few weeks.

Feeling of Doom Today

I woke early this morning with a general feeling of doom.  I've posted about this in the past, and it's something I've dealt with on occasion since I was a kid.  It's this feeling that something bad is going to happen today, but I don't know what it will be.  I know I'm going through a period of depression right now that's deeper than normal.  That's making it difficult for me to set some time aside to use Mood Sentry.  Here's the thing though, when I do use it I feel a bit better.  I've used the app for over a year and a half now and over that time I've built up plenty of entries that can help me address the thoughts that come up during bouts like this.  In times like this I usually find that a little push to use the app helps, which was the driver for having the reminders in the app.  However, today it just wasn't enough.  I finally got around to opening the app late this afternoon and saw some entries that helped me feel a bit better.  I checked my prioritization scheme which helped me realize that I'm tackling the important stuff.  I checked my daily goals and realized that I haven't updated that in a couple of days.  Oops.  I reviewed some Essays and Observations that indicated simply doing something when I'm feeling like this can help, which is kind of funny because when I pushed myself to do something I felt a bit better.  Looking back on the day it went pretty well so far and I see no reason for that to change.  Let's see what tomorrow brings.