Took a Moment to Update some Tools Entries

Going back over my entries in the Tools is a good thing to do.  Reviewing the entries for personal insight as well as updating them to be more clear about the intent.  Time and experience help me capture my thoughts more succinctly.  Tonight I updated a couple of Cost Benefit analyses and an essay.  I then started a new essay called "I am not my Work."  This relates to my post last night regarding updating a conservation group's website and the thoughts and forecasts that go along with milestones like that.  I think this will be a good essay.

Got a major thing off my plate this evening

I'm a volunteer webmaster for a local environmental group, and just pushed a major update to the website out. You guessed it, forecasts of ridicule for having a poorly designed site, multiple people telling me it doesn't work with their browser, lots and lots of typos, and lots of suggestion for how I can make it better.  Of course all these will lead to lost free time and I'll be a failure.  My self talk is based on past experience, which means very few if any people will contact me about stuff that's not working or suggesting how it can be better.  I know there probably are a few mistakes, and in fact I already found and fixed one.  However, there are a lot of good things in the site.  We have a more dynamic home page, the site was simplified, it has a better layout, and we got away from a frame based layout.  Pushing my thoughts to the stuff that's good helps defeat negative thoughts.  There's one more thing I've done that has been helping with events like this.  I simply remind myself that I am not the website.  That one thought has helped me recently in similar situations.  I need to capture that in my app.

My 100th Post

I wish I was feeling better today.  I've been porpoising from mildly depressed to a deeper funk today.  Got a lot of stuff going on, as I've been reporting.  Yes, I updated my Daily Goals list with some tasks this morning.  I revisited the list at lunch and replaced a couple of things I completed with new items.  That helped a bit by brining to my attention the fact that I did complete a couple of things.  I heard from the plumber, and Thursday he's supposed to finish the job.  That was positive.  What's really driving my mood are the little pop-up things.  I usually want to do them all, but realistically I cannot.  I get these thoughts such as "this will never end" or "I'll never get what I need/want to get done, done."  I just checked my Prioritization Scheme.  I'm not a big fan of it, but this time it helped.  The only high priority stuff I have is at work these days.  Home stuff is medium priority at best.  I think I'm just pushing myself with artificial deadlines.  I'm feeling a bit better right now.  Happy 100th.  I'll power walk tonight in celebration and for some stress relief.

Taking Inventory Helped...

Jotting down what's going well was a bit better than simply reflecting on what is going well.  Part of the reason was that because I took the time to write, I spent more time thinking about what was going well for me in the 3 phases of my life: work, non-work activities, and home.  I did something similar today.  I stopped to think about the stuff I did this weekend.  Dinner and an art show in Laguna, wine tasting, power walking, hiking, and kayaking for fun, plus getting lots of little things done in my work and non-work activities.  I got knocked off-axis this weekend when the plumber didn't show up on Saturday.  I now realize there were some "should" statements involved (he "should" have shown up or called), and that drove feelings of anger associated with feeling that I missed out on some opportunities.  The facts are that I did re-arrange my schedule, but I didn't miss anything I can't do next weekend, and looking back on the things I did I can see that I really had a good weekend.  Taking a moment to jot down what's going well was needed.  Glad I did it.

Rough Day Today

I was in a down mood today, all day.  Not sure what triggered it.  I used the app to plan set some goals, and worked at hitting them.  I did in fact complete my goals, which helped a bit at the end of the day.  I made the effort to get out and hike, which usually helps, and did a bit.  My main symptom today was lots and lots of ruminations on everything that's not going well.  Work, non-work activities, home life.  It felt like all I did was ruminate on the negatives.  Setting goals helped, particularly when I reached them.  Also, getting active helped too.  A hike in the foot hills in the morning and a stroll in the afternoon.  I'm going to try one more thing after I publish this, which is take an inventory of things that are going well for work, non-work activities, and home.  Let's see if I can remember to comment on how this inventory thing works tomorrow.

Better Mood Management Today

So, it looks like I'll have to fire my plumber.  Of course, if you've read my blog you probably think there is all sorts of forecasting going on in my head, which is true.  The funny thing is I'm catching those forecasts when they emerge and addressing them fairly effectively.  This feels a bit odd to me, odd as in not normal for me.  But it supports the notion that if I keep working at this, recognizing when my thoughts are not productive, and then addressing those thoughts I can do better in terms of managing my depression.  The app is only a tool I use to capture my thoughts and figure out what I can do to counter those thoughts.  It is the effort I put into my mood management that generates results.

Did pretty good today

Set my goals last night, revised first thing in the morning at work, then revisited at lunch and revised them again, this time because I knocked a couple of things off the list.  This is how I envisioned the daily goals tool to work, and how I've used it in the past.  I've let the hectic pace of my recent life prevent me from using the goals, which is when I need them most.  Let's see if I can keep this up.

What if Mood Sentry isn't for you?

Don't fret.  It's OK.  I'll post some ideas based on what I did before I created this.  One idea is to use your calendar (either computer or phone) to set reminders.  It's easy.  However, when I first did that I worried a bit about other people seeing my reminders pop up on the computer.  This was especially true with my work computer.  I recommend keeping the reminder generic, such as my original "what's going well today?"  In the off event that someone else sees it, and someone actually did for mine, just give an off-hand explanation such as "I like to take inventory every now and then of what's going well."  Nothing came from my "exposure" and I was better off with the reminder than without it.  Keep it simple, use your phone, use your home computer.

Making better use of the app

It's tough to keep the discipline of using the app, even with the reminders.  I'm super busy at work these days.  We have a major milestone coming up and my team is crucial to the outcome.  I'm feeling a lot of stress and anxiety.  Reviewing my entries in the app helps, but I feel like I don't have the time.  What I'm finding is that it helps if I get away from my desk to review my entries.  For some reason it's easier for me to do away from my desk.  It's probably because there isn't a computer screen in front of me with work waiting to be done.  Also, I don't want people to think I'm playing on my phone when I should be working.  Getting away from my desk and reviewing my entries helps in stressful times like these.  Let's see if I can remember this when the pressure is really on.

Did a bit better today

I made better use of the daily goals.  I set some for the morning, then revisited them in the afternoon.  I have a couple of little things on the list.  One is to prioritize what's on my plate.  I've loaded my plate up over the last month, and I set a goal to just take a stab at prioritizing what there.  It was simple, but worth it.  I've completed all my goals today, and then some.  It was a good day. I needed  to review "My Experiences" at lunch time due to an e-mail that triggered a dichotomous thought.  After dealing with my mood I re-read the e-mail and realized that I had misinterpreted what was written.  Oops.  All that emotion for naught.  That's something to record for future reference.

Made pretty good use of the Daily Goals today

I checked them in the morning and modified them to keep in line with my idea of having a morning to-do list and then an afternoon to-do list.  I was a bit re-miss in checking the list again at lunch.  Hmmm.  I'm just so busy these days.  It's funny, because when I really use the app I more often than not am better off for it.  I'll work on this.  I got things done today that were not on the list, and still have time to complete the list.  That's a good thing.  I've gotta get working.  Talk to you all tomorrow.

I think I'll keep the todo list at 3

I can use it this way.  What I'll do for myself is make sure I capture things todo in the morning, then revisit the list at lunch.  Having a big list with lots of things on it can seem unmanageable to a guy like me.  3 things is good, and won't overwhelm me.

Intrusive Reminders

I thought about making the reminders a bit less intrusive, but since I designed the app for me I left them the way I like them.  I thought about having a pop up window prompt the user to either review the reminder or opt out at the designated reminder  time.  When I thought about that, I figured if the user wanted to see the reminder then the user would need to select a virtual button.  If the user did not want to see the reminder, then the user would either select a virtual button or the return key.  In either case the user would need to select something.  The way it is now, if the user wants to see the reminder, the user just looks at the display, if not, the user selects a button.  My preference is to see the reminder, so the way things are is more efficient from my point of view.  Hitting the return key is no big deal if I don't want to see the reminder.  Thoughts?

Unfinished Entries

I was reviewing my entries and noticed that I had a couple of unfinished ones.  Hmmmm.  It was good to see that I started them, and will be interesting to finish them.  I also noticed that on some, I didn't catch all I intended to catch on the write-up.  That's the benefit of revisiting things I wrote and taking the time to update them.

Emotional Reasoning, again

The nature of my job and hobbies is to try new things of a technical nature.  When dealing with complex systems and software, I often find myself stuck on something new that I can't figure out.  If this "stuck state" persists, I can find my thoughts drifting to overgeneralizations related to "never" solving the problem.  This can drive my mood low and get me into a negative thought cycle in which I ruminate on everything that isn't going well.  Today I found myself in just such a mood.  I was able to catch my thoughts and recognize that even though I have challenges with 3 different technical projects, there's actually a lot that is going well on each.  I've made a lot of progress on each and believe I'll figure out how to do what I'd like to do on each.  Documenting this can help me in the future, IF I have the wherewithal to review my documentation.

Lots going on Today

Working a really tough issue at work, and a technical one at home too.  Feeling like I'm not making any headway on either.  What to do?  I'll try some counter thoughts, real-time.  This feeling that I'm not getting anything done is tied to Overgen's that I'll never get either task done.  The facts are: I generated a lot of data at work to better characterize the issue, I reviewed the data from yesterday, and was able to combine those with today's data and think I've narrowed where the problem is.  At home I worked a technical issue on the computer and felt like I made no headway.  I'll never get this done?  Hmmm.  I did learn a lot, and I know there is more than one way to make this work.  All I need to do is find one way.  I just about have this working, and have a deeper understanding of the issue.  That's good.  I'll get both tasks done.

Emotional Reasoning

If you read the examples, you can see that I rate emotional reasoning fairly high in regards to things I need to address.  I've battled depression since I was a kid, and can find myself in a low mood at times.  During those times my thoughts can be pretty bleak, focusing on stuff that's not working, amplifying their importance, forecasting conflict, you probably know the pattern.  Catching these thoughts and recognizing that they are actually distortions of reality can help me recover sooner, or keep me from sinking deeper.  Not bad.  This is where the app can help.  I use it to remind myself that I've been there before, and give myself some ideas on how to deal with where I am (or was).  Good stuff.

How are the limits working for you?

I've limited most of the user input fields.  When you enter an item, there's a limit on the name length of 32 characters.  Some fields allow 512 characters and some 1024.  Typically, the tools with 2 windows allow up to 512 in each window and the tools with 1 text window allow up to 1024.  These numbers seemed reasonable to me and I've been able to work within these bounds.  I'm wondering if anyone is having issues with these limits.  Thoughts?

Daily Goals

I've been making pretty good use of the daily goals tool these days.  I'm setting some goals for the morning, then updating them at lunch.  I think I'll keep the number of goals at 3.  I keep wanting to increase it to 5, but focusing on only a few things has really helped me.  I use the daily goals tool to keep on top of the really important stuff.  This tool dovetails with the prioritization scheme.  I ID what's important (if anything) and track them in the Daily Goals.

Had a rough day today

I think it started with a bad night's sleep.  Not sure what drove that, perhaps a late tankard of coffee yesterday afternoon.  Normally I don't drink coffee after 1.  As I've stated before, work is busy, I'm working on the house (in the middle of a copper re-pipe), and I'm a volunteer with a local environmental group for which I've got things piling up.  Oh yeah, I'm still not unpacked at my wife's house.  So stuff has been popping up for work, my house, and my volunteer group.  Several things over the past couple of days.  I've been forecasting that I won't get all this stuff done, been feeling overwhelmed, stressed and depressed.  I took a few minutes at lunch today to review My Experiences.  I ended up modifying a couple of the mitigations in the process.  It was good to remind myself that I do have thoughts like these, and then read through the mitigations.  It helped, a lot.

Our Support Page

I built a support page into this app so people could post comments and seek help on using this app.  It's been kind of a bust so far, probably due to the lack of users and possibly due to people not wanting to expose themselves.  I'm curious in regards to what features people like and don't like.  Are the hints sufficient?  Is the interface too clean?  How are the tools?  Go ahead and try posting something.  Note that if you have an issue posting on the support page, you can e-mail me at:
support@moodappsllc.com

Thanks.

My shortest essay...

Check this out.  Essay's don't have to be long or involved.  They can be simple reminders.  Here's my shortest. It's nice to read this every now and then.  More now than then...

"Get Something Off My Plate"
"When feeling stressed, just getting one thing off my plate can really help relieve my stress.  Big things are better, but even small things can help.  Having a prioritization scheme can really help."

That's it.  Just a reminder that focusing on one thing to clear off the plate is good.  Essays don't have to be long or involved, they just need to work for you.  Have at it.

Here are my counter thoughts...

Regarding never shedding the pounds.  I really don't have that many pounds to loose.  I'm in the middle of my ideal weight range, just a little above the middle.  My pants fit pretty good, which is my real goal.  I've shed the weight before, and see no reason why I can't do it again.  Never is a long time.

Shouldn't have eaten so much?  Why not? It was a party.  Sure the food was high impact, but it usually is at such gatherings.  Eating like that infrequently is not a bad thing for my health. It's OK to eat that way on occasion.  I'm certainly not going to make a habit of it.

Never get to eat my favorite indulgences?  So what?  I really haven't given up anything that special.   All I really did was substitute one thing for another.  I'm not missing anything that I haven't had in the past.  What I substituted was just as good, if not better than the stuff I used to "treat" myself to.  Really.

Lookin' for some help...

[Note: I wrote this on Saturday, May 5, but must of forgot to select Publish]

First, a little background...
I used to be about 20-25 pounds heavier than I am now.  I dropped the weight about 9 years ago and have maintained my weight in the low 130's ever since.  That's right in the middle of the healthy weight range for me.  It was easier to do before I got married.  I simply ate healthy most of the time and had a few favorite indulgences that I would enjoy every now and then.  For some reason, I put about 5 pounds on over the Nov-Dec holidays and have had a dickens of a time shedding it.  Family events center around food, and having married into a big family there's lots of family events.

Now to today's situation.
Today we celebrated a birthday.  Lot's of fried foods, refined flour, fatty meats, and of course deserts.  When I'm around food like that I tend to eat it, particularly in a social situation.  Today was no different.  This led to thoughts such as "I'll never shed these pounds,"  "I shouldn't have eaten so much," and  "I'll never get to eat my favorite indulgences as long as I'm eating at these family events."  Those thoughts made me feel sad.

Got any counter thoughts for me?  I'll come up with some myself, but if you have any suggestions, I'm all ears.

I have a lot of entries in my tools...

It's interesting to see the stuff I have recorded in my tools.  Just skimming through can be a help, because I can see trends and themes.  I can also see how I've improved over these past several months.  It's been almost a year since I started on this effort.  I don't know the exact day, but it was in June of 2011 that I decided to start working on an app for myself.  Anyway, more on that next month.  Right now I just want to say that having these records of my thoughts on my phone is helpful in a couple of ways.  Reviewing an entry on its own can help me deal with a similar situation when it develops.  Reviewing multiple entries helps me see patterns and different way of looking at the same distortion.  Good stuff.  How about you?  Do you have enough entries to see patterns?

My Evening Reminder just popped open...

I'm still using the default reminder.  How did things go today?  I had a good day, which unfolded with no surprises.  I kept pretty busy at work and was busy after work as well.  I was expecting a quote from a plumber for some work on the house, but didn't get one.  However, no distorted thoughts such as should statements came up because of that.  Nor did I think that I'll never get my house in shape for a sale.  Not bad for me.  Tomorrow should be pretty good.  I'm in a sort of production mode at work reviewing data, I'll get that last quote and make a decision on the plumber.  Got the art walk tomorrow evening, which should be fun.  Goals for tomorrow?  Finish reviewing the data set I'm working on at work, notify the contractors (plumber and termite repair), get out of the office at lunchtime for some "me" time.  That should do.

Today was a busy day...

As I've recently stated, I've got a lot going on at work and at home these days.  I'm not as stressed as I used to be during times like this.  I've found it really does help to be proactive and review my thoughts and records at the end of the day.  It just helps me get things in perspective and battle these thoughts of imminent failure and the imaginary conflicts that will follow.  Sometimes when I review I realize that I have already gotten a lot done.  At other times I realize that the important stuff is getting done and what's not getting done can wait with no penalty.  I've even made good use of the Daily Goals tool today and hit them all.  Good stuff.  How's it working for you?

A level of confidentiality

One of the things I like about having Mood Sentry on my phone is the level of confidentiality it provides when I'm working my program in a public place.  I often go to a Starbuck's at lunch, and sometimes pull out my phone to review my entries and/or update my entries.  It's a good time for me to take a break and reflect since the morning is over and the afternoon is about to begin.  The other people in the store really have no idea what I'm up to.  I've pulled out self help books in public places like this, but prefer not to.  This is why I have the references in the app.  I can refer to them when making entries, or even just review them on their own.  I wonder if the other people staring at their phones are doing something similar?  Not with my app, I don't have enough downloads to justify that thought!