Took the Day Off

I took the time to set some goals and hit them all.  Not bad for a guy on vacation.  Usually I revisit my goals in mid-day, but today I just let them ride.  Spent a lot of time thinking about work, working on this business, and other stuff.  I did not actively address my condition today, which is kind of odd.  It's not that I didn't feel anxious or depressed, it's just that it never got that bad.  Something to think about.

My Ideal Self Entries

I created this tool to help me focus on who/how I want to be.  I have to say, I use this tool the least but always get something from it when I do.  I only have a few entries, but I think they each capture something that I want to achieve.  I got the idea for this tool from the book Psycho Cybernetics, which champions putting one's focus on what one wants, as opposed to what one doesn't want.  Does this tool work for you?

The finished well

Today started like the past couple of days, filled with a low level of anxiety and depression.  I reviewed my entries and focused on past history.  At some point I my thoughts eased up.   One thing I did was actively address some things that were on my mind.  In effect, I got up and did something.  I was thumbing through Dr. Burns' book "Feeling Good" and noted an entry related to doing something to fight those feelings of lethargy.  Sometimes I need a reminder, which is why I keep that book around.

More Forecasting

and more self talk.  I met some new customers today, I received a list of "fix its" from the buyers for my house, and I responded to an e-mail from one of the people in the non-profit I support.  All these may seem pretty benign, but I forecasted conflict and/or lost free time for each of these.  So far, none of these has turned out negative and based on my past experiences none of them will.  I've reflected on past experiences in regards to each of these, which helped a bit.  I've tried imagining the opposite of the forecast, which also helped.  This is how I use the app to manage my condition.

Woke up Today and Caught Myself Forecasting

It was good that I recognized this, and was able to capture my thoughts when I got to work and had a moment.  I have 4 big things going on right now, work, a technical project, a volunteer organization, and the house.  I was feeling some angst this morning and my thoughts involved 3 of these items. I'm getting a feeling that perfectionist goals is what drives my thoughts of not having enough time to get things done, and thus not having time for "me."  I'll work on this a bit.

Prepping for the week

I read the chapter on "Verbal Judo" in Dr. Burns' book "Feeling Good."  I have a meeting with my future customer this week in addition to my usual meetings.  I've stated before that I tend to forecast conflict and doom.  Re-reading this chapter every now and then helps me feel better about dealing with any conflict that may arise.  I think I've gotten better at handling dissent during meetings and conversations, and reading this chapter has helped.  Have a social event to attend in a bit, so I'll prepare for that.

Had a good day today

It's Saturday.  I went hiking today, on my own, but took a few minutes to review my entries in the app and set some goals.  Yes, one was to reach the peak.  I was glad I took the time to review my entries because I had been thinking about an upcoming meeting at work and was forecasting conflict.  Because of that, I was feeling stressed and anxious when I arrived at the trailhead.  Reviewing my entries reminded me that I tend to have such thoughts and that one thing I can do is imagine the opposite.  So that's what I did.  It helped me.  I also recognized that I was engaged in some emotional reasoning related to those thoughts, and thus I had been focusing on the negative aspect of other things in my life, things not related to work.  Recognizing this helped too.  It was a pretty good day.

Was busy today...

But I made the time to use the app and was glad I did.  I made the time in the morning to briefly review my experiences.  By briefly, I reviewed my entries for overgeneralizations, forecasting, and emotional reasoning.  Then I reviewed a couple of items related to difficult tasks and the development pattern/cycle.  I'm involved with some highly technical tasks these days and reviewing those entries helps me defeat things like overgeneralizations and forecasts.  I worked through lunch but realized I would be better off if I made some time to review my mid-day reminder, and then re-reviewed some of My Experiences.  I felt a bit better after that, and finished the day reflecting on my accomplishments and now finishing this blog.

Jumping to Conclusions drove my mood today

I had a meeting with a new customer this morning, first thing.  My forecasts of conflict and rejection were not realized.  What I needed was to review my entries before the telecon, not after (way after in this case).  The call was the first thing in the morning for me and I didn't have the time to  prepare.  Then I got busy with other telecons and some highly technical tasks, which still interfered with reviewing relevant entries in the app.  The result was some low grade porpoising into and out of depression/anxiety throughout the day. All my telecons went well, there was no conflict and people appreciated my input.  That's typical.  This evening I made the time to reflect back on my experiences today, which has helped.

Getting back to my Groove

I've gotten a lot better recently using Mood Sentry, reviewing My Experiences in the morning, checking out some tool entries, and just using it to keep on top of my moods.  Nothing special to report today.  I'm feeling stressed, anxious, and depressed at times, but I'm mitigating those feelings via my entries in the app.

What a Monday

Arrived at work feeling anxious and depressed. Reviewed "My Experiences" and recognized emotional reasoning.  Thought about it for a bit, and tried to figure out what set me off.  Couldn't identify anything in particular.  It just seemed that when I thought about what I had to do today, all I saw was time consuming tasks that would bog me down.  I recognized forecasting and pushed my thoughts to the opposite, seeing success.  That helped a bit.  I had a good day and accomplished all my daily goals.  Not bad.

Finishing up a good weekend

The wife and I took the time to enjoy each other's company these past couple of days.  I used the app, mostly in the morning, to look ahead to the days planned events and ID potential distorted thoughts.  It helped, but wasn't really needed.  It was just the two of us, and when that's the case I tend to do pretty well.  I'll think about tomorrow and set some goals, then go to sleep.

Had a Good Day Today

I kept myself pretty busy today, and didn't really open the app.  It's odd, because I can see that I set some goals for myself, and actually hit them all.  I set the goals last night.  That's pretty good.  It seems that simply setting some goals can help keep me motivated and active.  Looking back on today, I got a lot of stuff done.  I'll now take a moment to set some goals for tomorrow.

Taking a Vacation Day tomorrow

It is a good time for me to take a break.  I'll work the app a bit, and review some entries.  I'll also be meeting with an escrow agent in regards to the house.  I've already heard that there are some odd things on the title search.  It used to be that I'd get anxious on hearing of errors in reports like that and the resultant thoughts like: this is totally ruined, or I'll never get this resolved.  I'm better at catching things like that.  I'll meet with the escrow agent and take care of what I need to, and let them do their job.  I expect mistakes will be made, and I expect we'll resolve them fairly efficiently.  Feeling OK right now.  Good night.

Another Good Day with the App

Started out pretty good, reviewed my experiences with the day's events in mind.  I'm still not sleeping great, and that seems to be impacting my mood, but I still get a benefit from reviewing things.  At lunch time I made room for some "me" time and reviewed my daily goals.  I realized I hadn't set any, so I took the time to reflect on what I accomplished and some goals I could have set, and then set some goals for the rest of the day.  I finished the day with a review of several entries I have that are related to work.  Good stuff.

Rocked the app pretty good today

Hit all the reminders, which really helped today.  I have a new project that is picking up steam at work. Lots of pressure related to this new project, which is somewhat convoluted.  Keeping the new project in mind when reviewing my distortions in the morning helped me prepare for the day.  Setting some goals and revisiting those goals at mid-day helped keep me focused.  I updated the goals at that time.  I even reviewed an entry or two.  This evening I reflected back on the day and thought about what might come up tomorrow.  Good stuff.

One Step Closer to Selling the House

And more time to address my depression.  I accepted an offer today, and think I'm gaining more insight to the thoughts that grind my mood down.  I've always had an issue with thinking "all my time" will be used up doing things that I don't want to do.  I've been this way since I was a kid.  It takes a lot to combat this thought, remembering past experiences, using logic, allowing my self to stop at any time, and even using the prioritization scheme to help me identify if something is truly important.  It all helps. I'm trying to dig a little deeper and figure out what drove this type of thinking in the first place.  In the meantime, I know I can manage it with a little help.

May get the house off my mind...

Having so many things on my mind these days has really pushed me to address my distortions and make time to work with the app.  When things get busy, that's the time I most need to address my thoughts but is also the most difficult time to do so.  I've been pretty good these days when it comes to addressing my thoughts, which I believe has helped me through these times.  Sometimes I catch myself not reacting to situations in ways I used to.  My thoughts are slowly loosing their impact on my mood.  Let's see how this continues.

Where to start...

I think the best place to start is with the "my experiences" section.  Working with your therapist to develop a customized definition of each distortion for your self is basically how I started with this.  Working on my own definitions helped me better understand how they manifest in my day, and then identify potential mitigation techniques.  I guess the second thing would be the reminders.  Have at it.

Addressed Forecasting today

For some reason I had the presence of mind to keep addressing my Forecasting today.  As I remind my self in My Experiences, when I caught myself forecasting conflict and/or rejection I pushed myself to think of the opposite.  OK, a standing ovation wasn't in the mix, but I did consider being thanked and commended for my efforts.  It really did have a slight but definitely noticeable impact on my mood.  I think there was a part of me thinking that the negative forecast was more likely, but in all cases the result was closer to either neutral or the positive forecast.  Good stuff for a person like me to keep in mind.

Made the time this morning...

to review some of My Experiences.  All or Nothing, Overgeneralizations, and Forecasting seem to come up a lot, so I made sure I hit these this morning.  I then reviewed a couple of recent entries and tried updating the one from the other day regarding waking up and feeling free of depression and anxiety.  I'm not getting anywhere with that observation, but I think I'll keep it around for a while.  I think there's something there.  I don't have to review all My Experiences to get a benefit.  If time doesn't permit, I can just review the most likely ones and that seems to help.

Reviewed My Experiences this evening

It's not just for breakfast.  Sometimes I find it useful to read through my experiences at the end of the day and reflect back on the day's events.  Today I thought about some pop-up stuff that triggered some distortions, and then reflected on the actual outcomes.  The outcomes were both good, so why the mood swings?  More food for thought.

Worked the new Observation a bit

Didn't get far on it.  I think this observation related to not feeling depressed or anxious when I woke up needed to be addressed closer to when it happened.  However, I had a bad night's sleep last night which may have hampered my thought process a bit.  I'm not going to delete this entry.  I'll keep checking it and see if I can fill it out a bit more.  I think there may be something in there, but right now it's just stagnating with only few lines of thoughts.

Woke up This Morning Feeling Kind of Good

I caught myself this morning feeling kind of good.  I started an Observation on this.  There was no depression or anxiety.  That went away as I started to think about my day.  However, because I was aware of this lack of depression I was able to jot down some thoughts that may be driving my mood and think about those thoughts a bit.  I'll see how this develops.

Just re-read the resilience article

I really like that article.  A couple of things that stood out for me on this read are developing problem solving skills and taking steps to solve problems.  These two are somewhat related.  I think they stuck out because I had been working on addressing some issues I have via a structured process.  I put that on the back burner recently to focus on things like the house and work.  Now that the house is just about on the market I have more time for other things.  I will make one of those things getting back to my structured approach to problem solving.  It's good for me to read the references every now and then.  I pick up on different things with each read.  How about you?

Things Went Pretty Well Last Night

Preparing for events like that is something I have to do, and you may not have to.  I did pretty well last night though after a couple of hours I was ready to call it a night.  I get exhausted in social situations.  I did start having thoughts regarding should statements and overgeneralizations, but for the most part I kept the impact of those thoughts in check.  No, I didn't pull out my phone and review my app.  That might have been a good thing to do toward the end of the evening, but I think my wife caught on that I had had enough and notified the crew that we'd be leaving.  Nice to have a good wing man (woman).

Gotta Social Event Tonight

I have to prepare for things like this.  I use the app to record past experiences and associated thoughts, which helps when me prepare.  Tonight's event is just a dinner and art walk.  It's the close proximity to other people and thoughts of arguments, being trapped in a group, not having anything to say, and other things.  I have evidence that challenges and refutes these thoughts.  That's one way I prepare.

All of Nothing Thinking

I tend to be susceptible to all or nothing thinking.  It's usually related to "never" having enough time to do something, spending "all" my free time doing things I have to do rather than what I want to do, or spending "all" my time on emergencies at work rather than the stuff I'd like to work on.  These thoughts go way back to my childhood.  I'm getting better at challenging them.  I can use the app to record actual events and how long they took (I think I reported on such an event in a previous blog entry).  I can collect data and generate self talk to remind myself of previous, contradicting experiences.  This helps.  I still get these all or nothing thoughts, but I can handle them better with the app.

Looking for input...

Every now and then I seek input from the user community.  This is one of those nows.  How are the hints?  Are they helpful?  Is the user interface OK?  I have the "+" at the bottom of several tools that is for adding an entry.  I didn't put the text "add" below the "+" because I thought it was redundant and like the look with just the image.  Was it difficult to figure out?  Any features you'd like to see?