Kind of Late for Me Tonight

Had a very busy day.  Best thing about it is that I'm on vacation now, and got everything I needed to do done.  I had a tough time checking my mood today because I was so busy from the moment I got in to work.  However, I took the time this evening to just sit back and review some of my entries in response to my evening reminder.  That helped me relax at the end of a hectic day, and see how I'm improving.  I can look back on items that don't seem to pop up, or are handled better when they do.  I also took the opportunity to think about tomorrow and how I'd like to behave.  Good stuff.  Good night.

Dancing Around an Issue

I looked through several tools entries and see the issue I wrote about last night popping up here and there throughout.  This is all that forecasting stuff that seems to manifest in many things I do.  I get better at recognizing it early in its manifestation.  That helps, but I'm still working the mitigation aspect of it.  I'm thinking that if I keep working it and addressing it, I'll figure this thing out.  I'll keep you posted.

Did Pretty Good Today

Started the internet account event record.  I think I want to capture that nothing bad happened.  It wasn't  catastrophic.  I was persistent and focused.  I got the best resolution I could get, and I didn't loose out on any valuable experiences.  In fact, this was a valuable experience in itself.  Today was good.  There was no drama, which is the case most of the time.  I forecast more drama than I experience.  These forecasts can stop me from trying things.  This is something I can address.  I'll sleep on this, but first I'm going to look at my observations and see if there's anything in there that addresses forecasting these dramas, and if not, start one.

Generally Fatigued Today

I'm just tired.  I woke up early this morning and spent another 2.5 hours on the phone with my service provided.  I was told multiple times that because I terminated my service before transferring the e-mail account, that I was SOL.  They offered many apologies.  I stuck with it, and didn't let my thoughts derail me.  Eventually, I got my e-mail back.  I found the right tech person who found a way to help me.  I'm somewhat exhausted.  Collecting evidence from this experience, it didn't last forever, They all weren't ignorant, they actually spent a lot of time trying to help me and genuinely seemed concerned for me and my plight.  Even if I hadn't gotten my e-mail back, I was ready to switch to my g-mail account.  I thought about what my priorities would be if that happened, what places need to be notified first, etc.  And that made the job seem more manageable.  I think I need to record this experience.

Surprised I'm Not Angry

I contacted Verizon regarding canceling the internet service at my house and transferring the e-mail account to my wife's internet service.  Did what the tech support person told me, which was cancel the service and THEN have tech support transfer the e-mail account to my wife's service.  Now I'm being told that I did it wrong, and have lost my personal e-mail account.  I've also been told that I can buy my e-mail address back.  Hmmmm.  OK, do you see any opportunities for distorted thoughts?  I shouldn't have listened to tech support?  Or maybe this stuff always happens to me?  How about these people should know what they are talking about?  I'm very surprised that I'm not angrier with them.  I recently re-read the chapter in Dr. Burns' book "Feeling Good" on anger and think that may have helped.  I am a bit stressed, mostly due to getting different messages from tech support and sales.  I'm forecasting that this will take all day tomorrow to fix (it's after hours now, so some of the people who may be able to help me have gone home for the day).  Looking forward, if I lost my e-mail I can deal with that.  There's only a handful of places I NEED to notify of a new e-mail address, and I can take care of them in an hour or two.  However, before it comes to that, I'll see what I can do in the morning.  The support people get in at 8 eastern, and I'm usually up at 5 pacific.  There's really no way anger can help me with this.  Somebody is incorrect on their end, and there's a possibility that I'll clear this up in the morning.  In either case, I doubt that any of the people I spoke with intentionally misled me.  They are human, like me, and prone to mistakes.  When that happens, I just have to do my best to help fix it.  I'll tell you how things went tomorrow.

I'm getting better at catching my thoughts

It's little things.  Like I reported last week regarding an ominous feeling at the start of my day.  I'm recognizing magnification more often than I used to.  I had a general feeling of anxiety today that I think was due to forecasts that were not realistic based on past experiences.  I was countering those thoughts and did it out loud.  That's right, I was talking to myself out loud when challenging those thoughts today.  I think it helped.

Is 30 days too short?

I can easily set the trial time longer and have been thinking about doing so.  I figured 30 days would be enough, but then I built the thing so I really didn't need any time.  You have several ways of indicating your preference for the trial period.  E-mail me at support@moodappsllc.com, post to this blog, or let me know via the support page.  You can reply to this via the app, and you can post to the support page via the app.  Let me know what you think.

Starting simple works for me

I've posted related ideas before, but I think this is worth delving into.  I start things simply.  If I'm capturing a thought or event or observation, I typically just capture a suitable title and a sentence or two to describe what's going on.  The next time I take the item up, I think about it some more and start working on the text.  It's an iterative process for me.  Reading my entries, thinking about them, and re-writing them until I really capture my thoughts is the main benefit of the tool.  That's why I also added features like being able to re-write a title and even delete an entry.  Sometime my initial title doesn't quite capture the thought.  Do you find yourself doing the same?

Started an Observation

So I started an observation on this general feeling of impending doom.  A belief that things are going to get out of hand.  As I capture these thoughts and reflect on them, I believe I'll be able to figure out some sort of mitigating counter thoughts.  We'll see.  Other than that, I had a pretty good day today.  The goals have been helping, as has the prioritization matrix.

Woke up Feeling a bit stressed, anxious, and depressed

This wasn't a unique occurrence for me.  This has happened throughout my memorable life.  However, I'm now getting better at recognizing the thoughts associated with these feelings.  I have lots of stuff on my plate.  I forecast that things won't go well, that little things that normally will take a short amount of time will have unforeseen problems and take a huge amount of time.  It's more of a general premonition that this is going to happen, as opposed to any specific task getting out of control.  I've been getting pretty good at countering thoughts related to specific tasks getting out of hand.  Most of my entries in the app are related to specific events.  I think I can start addressing this generic, ominous, thought.  I'll need to be aware of these thoughts.  I'm going to capture this in my daily goals as something to learn more about.

Busy Day Today

I'm getting better at using the Daily Goals tool.  The thing I'm learning is that the goals don't have to be perfect.  Things pop up during the day that may require modifying the goals and objectives I set.  That's no big deal.  It's good for me to review the goals and objectives at lunchtime and adjust as needed.  As you know, I have a lot of stuff going on at work and home these days.  The painters have been prepping the house and based on an un-reported experience last night, I had a skunk expert at my house to help me deal with a skunk issue I had last night.  Glad the stinky little critters did not take up residence under my back porch, as I thought.  I'll lay down some goals for tomorrow and call it a night.

Porpoising This Evening

I'm getting my house ready for the painters tomorrow.  That means I'm pulling stuff off the walls, out of closets, and out of their way in general.  Lots and lots of little things.  It seems that just when I think I'm done, I notice something else that I need to do, and then even more things I need to do.  Guess what goes through my mind.  Yep, "this is never going to end."  That drives my mood lower, but I've been catching it with these counter thoughts: "Of course it will end, it really can't go on forever"; and "actually, this will end whenever I decide to end it."  I also start feeling overwhelmed because I'm not getting to other things I intended to do tonight.  However, when I look at this from a priorities stand point, this is much more important than the other items and really needs to get done tonight.  It's after 10 now, I've got a few more things to get to and I'm sure more distortions to address.  Gotta go.  Good night.

Used the Prioritization tool today

I have painters coming in tomorrow, it's Father's day, and I have a lot of little things on my plate.  I was going to set some daily goals for myself and decided to see if the prioritization matrix would help.  I've only used that tool a few times and still am not sure if it's worth keeping.  Today it helped.  Based on the matrix my highest priority is the painting.  After that comes Father's day.  I was a little uneasy about having Father's day  medium priority, but it worked out well.  All I needed to do for the painting was trim back some hedges from a fence that will be painted and select the colors for the interior of the house. There was plenty of time to do that and celebrate Father's day.  One thing that really popped out at me was the "Do Not Work" scheme.  I was able to identify several things not to work on.  Making the conscious decision not to work on a few things really helped defeat thoughts of being overwhelmed.  I'm now thinking of adding a box to identify stuff not to work on in the Daily Goals tool.  I know that sounds silly, but for a person like me it can be quite useful.

A Good Day Today

I set some goals in the morning, which helped a lot.  I'm still in the process of getting my house in shape to put on the market, and will have painting done this week.  I have lots of little things to do in regards to the house, work, and various little projects.  I used the goals, which helped.  Note that I didn't get to everything on the list because I was a bit dynamic and ended up doing things I didn't think of this morning, which needed to be done.  The stuff I didn't get done was not high priority, the stuff I did get done was.  I have this nagging feeling that things are going to get out of hand, but I'm getting better at catching the thoughts that drive that feeling and challenging them with past experience.

Missed Yesterday, Descent Day Today

Where was I yesterday?  I was at my nephew's graduation ceremony.  It was very crowded, which can kind of bother me.  It's mostly a noise thing.  I felt silly plugging my ears every now and then to take the shrillness out of the air, but it helped.  I know a bit more about myself and how I respond in situations like that, which is mostly due to self reflection and things like my living with Asperger book.  Today was a bit stressful, but I got through it.  I had a handyman at my house taking care of odds and ends before I paint next week.  Also, my plumber showed up and finished my bathroom.  These sound like good things, but my thoughts projected problems and conflict.  I did a pretty good job countering those thoughts today.  Keeping track of past experiences helps by supplying evidence for my mitigations.  That's one way Mood Sentry helps me.

Was Really Stressing Today

Things went well today.  I actually got a lot of things done, so I'm not sure what's the real cause.  I do have some overgeneralizations floating around my head regarding a technical task I have to complete.  Regarding those thoughts, I took the time to review previous entries in the app regarding tough technical tasks and felt a bit better, but only a bit.  I checked my daily goals, and nailed them all.  I think I'm forecasting conflict regarding a request I want to make for vacation.  I put that request off today and now get to think about it.  It's better when I just ask, but really shouldn't make a difference.  I'm going to work on this before going to bed.  I've never had an instance of being told no in regards to a vacation request.  I've never had conflict over such an innocuous thing.  This is classic forecasting for me.  Conflict over a nothing request.  I have no evidence of conflict, ever, regarding this.  So why the thoughts?

Just a regular day

I set some goals this morning, and managed to hit them all by the end of the day and a few more to boot.  Took the time to set some goals for tomorrow and review some previous entries I've made.  I ended up modifying a few entries, which isn't uncommon.  I'm kind of a tinkerer with stuff like this.  Sometimes for clarity, sometimes to capture things I missed in the observations or what ever.  That's one of the benefits of having these records on the phone.  Been a busy day, I'm tired.  Good night.

Worked a couple of new etries

I set some goals for tomorrow and then started working on those new entries regarding not looking at people actions through a black and white lens and identifying people who have helped me.  They are both rough at this time, which is typical.  The people who have helped me essay may not make the cut.  I'm not sure where I'm going with that, but I won't ax it yet.  The other essay has some merit and I think is something that pops up fairly regularly.  We'll see if I decide to share it later, when it is better developed.

Things have been bubbling up

Recently, things have been bubbling up to the top.  By this I mean I'm gaining new insights into old thoughts and feelings.  For example, I often get very uncomfortable when family members talk about other family members supposed short comings.  I think this is because I have have a tendency toward black and white thinking.  If somebody did something wrong, then they must be bad, or something along those lines.  I'm still working this out, and started an essay on this.  I'll see where this goes.  I also picked up on an essay that I started and put down related to identifying how people have helped me throughout my life.  Not sure that one will go anywhere, but I'll develop it some more.  I'll gain insight into myself in any case.

Lazy day today

Didn't set any goals for today.  I had stuff to do, but nothing pressing and I had a pretty good handle on what I wanted to do.  I had some issues with some forecasting regarding meeting with someone, but I was able to overcome those thoughts.  That meeting went well, and is more evidence that things usually do go well.

Took a moment to review all "my experiences"

It's been a while since I've done that, and I'm glad I took the time to do it.  Seeing them all in aggregate paints a better picture than cherry picking the ones I think will pop up on a given day.  That doesn't mean that cherry picking isn't useful, because for me it is.  Particularly when I'm busy.  However, taking the time periodically to review them all is a good thing for me to do on occasion.  How about you?

Did a lot of little things today

I've really gotten better at using the daily goals recently.  I find it helps, and just set a few goals for tomorrow morning.  I'll update them tomorrow at lunchtime.  I'll keep them at 3.  There's other things on that list, such as something to learn and something to communicate.  I usually punt on the something to communicate and just put down to tell my wife I love her.  That's an easy one.  I also took the time today to review some observations and update a couple.  I worked on that one regarding new tasks.  I also re-examined one I started several months ago related to my App.  I noticed that in this observation I suggested starting an essay related to people who have helped me throughout my life.  I think this may be helpful in terms of those forecasts of conflict I have.  We'll see.

Started a new observation today

This one has to deal with tackling tough technical problems, particularly in the early phase when I initiate the task.  I'm getting better at catching the thoughts that pop up.  Lots of overgeneralizations.  Things like "I'll never get this done" and "I'll need to work all weekend to solve this"  I may beat myself up with some should statements too, but I'm not sure about that.  Such thoughts would be fleeting and thus tough for me to remember.  Anyway, I've started a new observation on this and will track it more in the coming weeks.  I also have a workbook for people with Asperger that may provide some insight on tackling new projects.

Handling the Plumber issue pretty well

The shower was installed today.  There are just a few more touch up things to do on this job, which will be done tomorrow.  I had many opportunities for cognitive distortions during this endeavor and did a pretty good job combating those thoughts when they came up.  I've posted that I have a tendency to forecast confrontation when seeking input from others.  I had plenty of thoughts like that recently and I've noticed that those thoughts are less powerful than they used to be.  I think "powerful" is the right word for what I experience.  I still have forecasts of confrontation, but I've been battling them by paying attention to two things.  One is that confrontation is the exception, not the norm.  This helps a bit.  Two is that when I do experience conflict, I handle it well.  I think that recognizing both has been key to reducing the power that such thoughts have on my mood.  The Mood Sentry app helps track stuff like this and can be referenced where and when needed (most of the time).

Had a pretty good day today

I think I was overloaded with stuff the other week.  When I got that website effort off my plate, I had a little more time to do things like use the daily goals tool.  The thing is, I overloaded myself with non-critical stuff.  I was able to step back a bit and see that some things were not critical, which helped a little bit.  I was even able to use the goals and prioritization tools to a degree.  However, I really didn't feel that I had the time to use my tool when I needed it most.  Note that when I did use it, I always felt a little better.  So why was there so much inertia to use it?  Was it the emotional reasoning response of "what's the use?"  Hmmmm.

Was Reading Dr. Burns' book Feeling Good

It's been a couple of months since I picked up and read this book.  I'm glad I did.  I was reading the chapter on anger, and picking up stuff that I hadn't picked up on previous reads.  That happens with me.  As I work my program (my road to better mood management, not the app) I learn more about myself and get better at recognizing symptoms and thoughts.  As a result, revisiting this book often results in better insights.  Anyway, I'm getting ideas on some more tools that might work their way into the app.  I'm thinking of a 2 window tool, one window captures angry thoughts, the second window captures cooler thoughts.  Easy to implement.  Hmm. On another note, I did pretty good at using the daily goals today.  I set some morning goals, then at lunch I set some afternoon goals.  Not bad.

Did OK Last Night

I really do have a tough time dealing with all the distractions at social events like the art walk last night.  Starting with dinner, where we had a jazz band playing which made it difficult to hear the conversation, to the walk itself with lots of people milling about.  Trying to keep track of the music and the conversation made me feel confused.  In fact, I couldn't keep track of either.  I also noticed that people with lots of inflection in their voices can grate on me.  I think these may be related to a hearing processing issue.  I started a new essay regarding preparing for social events.  I think I can prepare for some of this, and may need to recommend things like quieter places for dinner and limited group sizes.  We'll see where this goes.

Have a Social Event Tonight

Social events can wear me out.  I often feel anxious and nervous around other people.  It's mostly related to thoughts that if I say the "wrong" thing I'll find myself in a confrontation or I'll upset somebody else.  I know this is a distortion, because usually when I talk to people they seem to enjoy the conversation.  I also have a problem with focusing my attention on one person when there is a lot of activity around me. I tend to look around every now and then, keeping an eye on things.  The constant draw on my attention gets wearisome.  I have an essay and an observation related to social situations, and I have a workbook for people on the Asperger spectrum that helps too.  I've reviewed my app entries, and will take note of my thoughts tonight to get a better handle on what's really going on in my head.